Thanks For The Memories

Hello. My name is Count Johnula, and I am, as you might expect, a vampire. Now, there are a number of aspects of my lifestyle that can grow tiresome: the constant neck-biting, the angry mobs, the whole sleeping in a coffin thing, not being able to go out during the day, an aversion to garlic, et cetera, et cetera.

But one thing that is rarely discussed is how hard it gets to keep track of all of one’s mementos and memories over the years. Even someone as young as me, born just a few years ago in 1205, can manage to accrue quite the cache of personal effects over the years, many of which possess immense sentimental value.

For so long I didn’t think about this at all, filling castle after castle with painted portraits of me and my friends and scrolls detailing our hilariously debaucherous exploits. (Or, at least, hilarious to us; most non-vampires would likely vomit one or two sentences in.)

But for my more recent pieces, such as photos and videos, I’ve had to think more about preserving my legacy digitally, so as not to invest in another storage villa hawked by a corrupt realtor who accepts rare Venetian gold coins and eternal life as payment.

That’s why I’ve invested in this LegacyBox Digital Conversion Kit!

Being, as I was, raised in a different time, with different technology, I have a hard enough time wrapping my mind around the concept of a light switch. In fact, I have a butler stationed in each room of my living castle to operate them as needed. The world of computers is thus entirely lost on me. So I’m thankful to have a service so simple as LegacyBox. All I have to do is label my photographs or recordings and ship them out; then, in no time at all, I get a digital copy to hand to my computer butler!

In this way, I’m able to preserve such meaningful photos as this one, snapped by one of my camera butlers on my birthday in 1985. Yes, I know it looks like a banquet table without any diners, but all of those chairs are actually full. And this video, shot by one of my other-kind-of-camera butlers, of what appears to be an empty room echoing with unseen hoots and hollers? That’s one of me celebrating the Yankees 1978 World Series with Count Bradlick. He was such a fan of that team, having watched each of their World Series Victories until his untimely demise in 2004. Poor soul! Moved to Alaska to enjoy the seemingly endless nights, forgetting that they give way eventually to the seemingly endless sunlight.

But alas, let’s not dwell on the bad times. No, thanks to LegacyBox, we can instead dwell on the great times. Because they’re not stashed away in some dusty turret in Spain or Belgium or wherever. They’re right here, at the fingertips of my computer butler, allowing them be enjoyed easily from here to eternity!