Imperial Pearl 36" Station Necklace
- A necklace with 17 freshwater pearls, from 5-9mm
- The 36" necklace itself is made with sterling silver & rhodium (discovered by William Hyde Wollaston in 1803)
- You (or its wearer) are supposed to double it up, but you (or its wearer) can do whatever the hell you (or its wearer) want
- Includes appraisal report for $299, which is mostly for insurance purposes – don’t think you can go flip it on the pearl market
- Model: 665653/FW36 (A complex symbolic representation of the product. 665653 references the color of that hex code, a kind of austere, stately taupe. Complemented by the speed and excitement of the FW36 F1 car. Bravo, model-number auteur, bravo.)
"You Shouldn't Have!" "I Barely Did!"
You can’t screw up buying a Mother’s Day gift too bad. Why? Because it’s your mom – she’ll cherish whatever you get her, even if it sucks.
We’re not saying this necklace sucks. It’s pretty nice, as far as these things go. It would be a lovely gesture as a Mother’s Day gift, and would make her so happy to know you thought of her when you saw it.
But it would also make her so happy to hear you thought of her when the Mariners swept the Rangers, despite her disinterest in the franchise or in sports altogether. All that matters is that something, at some point, for some reason made you think of her.
Her day is fast arriving (May 14th) so if you want to get her a gift from us or another slow-shipping retailer you’ve gotta do so soon if you want to get it to her in time. But again, it’s your mom, so her heart will swell with joy even if her gift is a week late. Or, let’s be honest, a month late.
That’s the bittersweetness of a mother’s unconditional love. On the one hand, it’s nice to know there’s somebody out there in the universe who will love you no matter who you are and what you do. On the other hand, you wish your mom would get a little annoyed when you forget her birthday for the fourth year in a row.
What we’re saying is that buying her a nice gift like this and delivering it on time will help you rest easier at night knowing you did the right thing by not preying on your mom’s inexhaustible forgiveness and love. Don’t do it for her. Do it for you.
