Clean Living

Last time we checked, it’s still January, which means we can keep cranking out resolution-centric copy!

Now, there’s an obvious angle here: this would be great if you resolve to keep a tidier house. But let’s be honest, that resolution absolutely sucks. It’s like resolving to laugh less so you have fewer wrinkles at your open-casket funeral. Resolutions should be about making your life better, not making your days more tedious.

But this thing can help with cool resolutions, too.

Going to the gym more in 2025? That shit takes forever! Even if you only end up working out for a half hour, there’s still the other stuff: gathering your workout clothes, driving there, changing into your workout clothes, changing out of your workout clothes after the workout, showering, driving home, etc.–depending on where your gym is and traffic and stuff, you could have an hour of non-workout-time with each workout. And that’s not even including the twenty minutes of sighing and negotiating with yourself when it’s fifteen degrees out, and you just really want to spend the day inside watching movies under a blanket.

Did you resolve to cook more? Well, buddy, we got bad news: you can add about twenty minutes to the prep time of every recipe you find, maybe more if you’re super new and/or have subpar knives. And you know what, that’s good. You’re not on Chopped. Part of resolving to cook more is about taking some time to yourself: just you, your ingredients, your tools, and maybe a podcast or audiobook to listen to. There’s no rush!

Spending more time outside, learning to knit, reading more books, writing a book–whatever your resolution is, it’s going to occupy a solid chunk of each day, which means less time to vacuum. Hence why it might be a good idea to get a robot vacuum like this one–capable of running for 150 minutes, setting virtual boundaries, and even mopping–so your house doesn’t go to shambles while you’re bettering yourself.

Of course, some resolutions are about doing less. Spending less time on your phone, drinking less, eating out fewer times a month. If your reward for all that restraint is more time to clean your floors, how do you think that’s going to go?

What we’re saying is: resolve to do something cool and then buy this thing that’ll do something uncool so you don’t have to. Got it?