House of Marley Jammin’ Positive Vibration Headphones

Jammin’ Positive Vibration headphones give you two Bob Marley song titles for the price of one
Fabric cord with three-button in-line controls
The Aqua ones have this vaguely Afro-Jamaican print on the outside, so they’re cheaper
You can’t even really see it on the Mist ones, since it’s tucked away on the inside of a tasteful grey band, so they’re more expensive (and we have a lot fewer of them)
Oh, yeah, about the headphones, we love them as much as we love most House of Marley headphones: among the best-sounding headphones we’ve sold, the usual very nice build quality, we’re glad this silly print makes them such a great deal
Model: EM-JH010, EM-JH011 (JH for Jammin’ Headphones, we assume; nice concise model numbers marred only by the hyphens)

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I hope you like this pattern too, ooh yeah

We went to “press” with this story too late to pay proper tribute to Prince. Let’s talk about our favorite Prince moments in the poll below. RIP.

Just so we’re clear: there’s nothing exactly… wrong with the pattern printed on the outside of the headphone band of the Aqua version of these headphones. It’s just that no aesthetic element will appeal to everyone. And some percentage of the crowd will be actively turned off by it. Good thing for us, too, because it makes these top-shelf headphones available at a bottom-shelf price.

Let’s say you hire the best airbrush artist in the world to paint an epic orcs-vs.-goblins battle mural on the side of your van. No matter how badass it is, no matter how much you paid him, your van will probably be worth less than if you’d just left it alone. Because most people would pay a little more to drive the same car without orcs fighting goblins all over it.

This particular pattern isn’t quite as, shall we say, aesthetic as our hypothetical mural. But it is inevitably to the taste of few fewer people than a solid color would be. It’s why thrift stores are full of otherwise serviceable garments marred by gratuitous frills. The more distinctive a visual element is, the higher the chance any given person won’t be that into it.

How visible that element is also matters. So what we’re going to do is, if you love, like, or can tolerate the print on the outside of the band where everybody can see it, you get the Aqua headphones for four bucks cheaper. You’re going to be wearing them alone a lot of the time. If a somewhat cheesy print falls in the forest, does it make it a sound? Besides, anybody who would judge you for how your headphones look isn’t someone you want to be friends with anyway. And as a last resort, you could always take a Sharpie to it, we guess.

If you’re so superficial and image-obsessed that you just have to have the print tucked away between your sweaty head and the rest of the band where nobody can see it, you’ll pay a 40% premium for the Mist version. Such is the price of vanity! But hop to it because we have way more of the more flamboyant Aqua ones (probably not a coincidence).

It’s time to ask a tough question about yourself. Are you too vain to wear a solidly built, great-sounding pair of headphones with a goofy print design on them? Or are you really indifferent enough to looks, impervious enough to embarrasment, to save yourself four bucks? Time to put your four bucks where your guts are.

House of Marley Jammin’ Positive Vibration Headphones

I hope you like this pattern too, ooh yeah

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