Too late It’s over

Star Wars Die Cast Vehicles: Hasbro or Hot Wheels

Model replicas of your favorite Star Wars ships in celebration of this most commercial of holidays, May The Fourth
Pick either the Hasbro 9-pack or Hot Wheels 10-pack, or both if your fandom is that compulsive
Some of these were actually selling for a pretty penny individually on eBay, but we’re now flooding the market with them so who knows. Don’t blame us, blame that whiney Trade Federation
It seems like they’re a mix of metal and plastic – they say “die cast” which implies metal and they feel heavier than plastic, but they definitely have plastic parts
They’re pretty small; the Millennium Falcon is the largest in both sets and measures 2.2" x 6.2" x 6.5" (Hot Wheels), and 2" x 4" x 5" (Hasbro)
We had to look up what a “Mandalorian” is and were reminded that Wookiepedia is written in goddamn past tense (because “A long time ago…”)
Model: None (Well, they’re just the names of the ships, which don’t count as model numbers under Meh Model Number Bylaw 102.04.64(a): “Model numbers are hereby defined as abstract alpha-numeric representations of the product to which they apply, therewhich excluding any and all such literal representations as are indistinguishable from the product name or product names theresby.”)

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Meh writer @skemmehs here wishing you Salacious-Crumb-like mirth this May The Fourth.

When I write about Star Wars or any other entity with a thriving, over-active fan base, I expect to be nitpicked and nitpicked vigorously. It’s actually kind of fun to be scolded for erroneously abbreviating "Doctor Who” to “Dr. Who” or for calling Firefly “boring.”

However, I do not expect to be nitpicked for something I never said, as I was last Thursday, April 27th. In that day’s writeup I drew jocular comparisons between vacuums and notable Star Wars starships. Near the end I wrote:

Weaker cordless vacuums are like that most wretched of ships, the much-maligned Y-Wing.

On that day, 3 minutes after the deal went live, Meh user @medz wrote;

The y wing is a bomber not a fighter jet.

I double checked what I had written, then triple checked it, then checked the rest of the page for the words “fighter” or “bomber.” They were absent. I had been corrected by @medz for something I had never actually said!

“Oh boo-hoo,” You may say, “Welcome to the internet, where baseless accusations roam like so many buffalo in pre-Columbian America.”

“Yes, but —“ I reply, setting aside that strange simile for a second, “— @medz’s comment was the most-liked (or “starred", fittingly) comment in that thread!"

Indeed, @medz’s bit of fake news garnered 12 stars. 12 stars! A dozen individual Mehers patted @medz on the back for his correction without checking whether it was actually correcting anything at all. I list them here for reasons of shaming and pettiness:

-@reddinghill
-@tristero
-@Sabre99
-@Malus
-@DaveInSoCal
-@Tartanknickers
-@uksol
-@happycollision
-@Nitewatch
-@InnocuousFarmer
-@Rhinovirus

And, most painfully, even my once-trusted coworker @Moose, with whom I share daily correspondence on such topics as “What is the model number for the socks?” and “How many socks are we selling?” added his star to @medz’s witchhunt.

Et tu, @Moose?

Now, getting back to that “buffalo" comment you made earlier: It’s technically the American Bison, “buffalo" is a common mistake.

Star Wars Die Cast Vehicles: Hasbro or Hot Wheels

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