Gardenia Down Alternative Comforter
- Choose from a range of colors scientifically engineered to blend unobtrusively into any color scheme visible to the human eye
- Polyester fiberfill divided into many little compartments to keep it from clumping up and conspiring to ruin your sleep
- Kind of medium-warm sorta all-weather or something like that somewhere in the middle there
- Model: 90203 - 90214 (aw man, we thought we had a lot of colors but it looks like there are at least 90,000 more)
Like a travel mug for your body. Kind of.
Yeah! This Gardenia Down Alternative Comforter keeps you warm. Just like a travel mug keeps your coffee warm. Same thing! Totally!
Of course, this comforter won’t keep you cool if you’re trying to stay cool. Just the opposite, really. So it’s not like a travel mug in that respect.
And, well, this comforter isn’t really made to be carried all over the place. Walking into the office wrapped in a blanket is good way to be reminded of your health insurance plan’s confidential crisis help line.
So, it’s like a travel mug for your body… without the travel part… and the temperature regulation only goes in one direction… but otherwise, they’re virtually identical! Right?
OK, fine, here’s what we really mean: neither travel mugs nor comforters are the kind of thing you often go shopping for. Both travel mugs and comforters are the kind of thing you buy on impulse if you see a good deal on one. Because with both travel mugs and comforters, it’s good to keep an extra or two around. And, hence, both travel mugs and comforters always sell well around here.
We guess what we’re saying is, in retail terms, comforters and travel mugs are the same. In retail terms. Which, come to think of it, seem to be the only terms we can think in anymore. Oh God, what’s wrong with us? What’s happened to our humanity? Help us. Please. Somebody wrap us in a nice medium-warm comforter and give us a travel mug full of coffee. Help us feel human again.