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Emeril 6-Piece Knife Set
- Six knives include 8" Carving, 8" Bread, 7" Santoku, 6" Sandwich, 5" Utility, and 3.5" Paring
- Color coatings are more than just garish and gaudy: they’re also nonstick
- Also includes protective sheaths - uh, sheathes? sheaves? no, that’s a different thing… each knife has a sheath, is what we’re trying to say
- Comfy handles, angled blades, they cut things, etc.
- Model: E9685GB (the E is for Emeril, the B is for “Bam”, the 9685G is for the 9685 grams of crawfish étouffée served every minute at Emeril restaurants around the world)
You can't cook without a catchphrase.
Want to be a celebrity chef? There are two ways you could go. You could spend years perfecting your craft, studying under the masters, gradually working your way to the heights of the culinary world. Along the way, you develop your own distinctive vision and cultivate important backers before finally opening your own restaurant. If you beat the odds, make your flagship restaurant a success, and expand into other cities, you’ll then need to marshal ample quantities of persistence, culinary expertise, business savvy, and personal charm to break through to the cookbook and TV markets, whereupon, if you strike a chord with your audience, you can market your own line of kitchen products like this six-piece multicolored non-stick knife set. That’s how Emeril Lagasse did it: his empire started with feeding thousands of people some of the best meals they’ve ever had in their lives.
Or you can just pick a catchphrase, like Emeril’s famous “Bam!” and “We’re kickin’ it up a notch”, and fake the rest. Here are some kitchen catchphrases that are yours to use for free:
- “Grab your girdle, Gertrude!”
- “Pig it, boys! Pig it!”
- “Plegh!”
- “Heil flavor!”
- “Now that’s what I call zippazappy!”
- “Wax on, wax off!”
- “Tastes like angel flesh!”
- “Gut alert! Gut alert!”
- “Tax increment financing!”
- “Gimme dem mouthfeels!”
- “Sup with gusto, good men and true!”
- “Tastebuds slain in brutal flavor shocker!”
- “Goo goo ga ga!”
- “Immanentize the eschaton, bayou style!”
- “What the food?!?”
Best of luck! Maybe we’ll see you all over basic cable someday, or your face twenty stories high towering over Times Square. But hey, if you do skip all the steps that made Emeril a success and jump right to the catchphrase, please don’t make us eat any of your food.