Extra Oven

So you volunteered to host Thanksgiving this year. Sure, you’ve got time to plan, but why not start to gear up now?

For example, consider the following hypothetical:

SCENARIO ONE: Hosting Thanksgiving WITHOUT this Ecowell 26.4qt 15-in-1 Air Fryer Oven

Things are going fine until Aunt Miriam and Aunt Patty both show up at the same time, demanding oven space. Aunt Miriam needs to make her “famous” green bean casserole, whereas Aunt Patty wants to do something with sweet potatoes. She saw someone cook it on a morning show. She says she hopes it turns out, indicating she’s never made it before.

There is only room for one dish at the moment, and Aunt Miriam pounces on this lack of experience, claiming the last bit of space for herself. After all, it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without her “famous” green bean casserole.

Just don’t forget to add the salt this time.

This comes from Aunt Patty.

A hush falls over the kitchen, and everyone else present makes an excuse to leave. You stick around, because you’ve got pots to monitor.

Aunt Miriam says she never would’ve forgotten the salt that time if Aunt Patty’s Italian greyhound Rudy hadn’t been underfoot all day, shivering and begging for scraps. It’s a shame, Miriam goes on, that, unlike her, Aunt Patty never married and had real human children. Maybe then, she wouldn’t always be crowding every family get-together with canine stand-ins who see her only as a delivery system for treats.

Aunt Patty hisses that Rudy, who passed away just a few months ago, loved her, that all her dogs have loved her, which was more than Aunt Miriam could say about her five brutish sons.

The pace of talk has increased along with the volume. You can no longer follow the conversation with ease. You pick up little details: something about an incident on the shores of Lake Cleary when the two were girls, a stolen brooch, a skiing vacation gone awry, a debate concerning Uncle Gary’s time in the military and what can and cannot be called an ‘honorable discharge.’

You pour some wine for them, hoping to calm things down. But Aunt Miriam throws her wine in Aunt Patty’s face, who coldly puts her glass down, takes a chef’s knife from the block on the counter, and, without hesitation, plunges it into her sister’s stomach. Aunt Miriam crumples to the ground.

Aunt Patty looks to you, the knife still poised in her hand. You were the only witness. You either help her get rid of the body or you’re next, she says. She’s not going back to prison.

Aunt Patty went to prison?!

Yes, apparently, she did. When your parents told her she was ‘taking an art course in Cincinnati’ for four years in the late 90s. They had a program with dogs at the prison. That’s where her passion for them came from.

You and Aunt Patty bury Aunt Miriam in the flowerbed by the back door. Then, you both clean the kitchen. While you assure everyone dinner will be ready soon and that Aunt Miriam had to leave due to feeling light-headed, Aunt Patty makes her sweet potato dish, which turns out to be terrible. She didn’t even write down the measurements from the show.

The next spring, the peonies come up bigger and brighter than ever. But you can’t enjoy them. You know what lies beneath.

SCENARIO TWO: Hosting Thanksgiving WITH this Ecowell 26.4qt 15-in-1 Air Fryer Oven

Things are going fine until Aunt Miriam and Aunt Patty both show up at the same time, demanding oven space. Aunt Miriam needs to make her “famous” green bean casserole, whereas Aunt Patty wants to do something with sweet potatoes. She saw someone cook it on a morning show. She says she hopes it turns out, indicating she’s never made it before.

Hey, that’s no problem! One of them can fit in the oven, the other can use your air fryer.

Your Aunts look at each other. An air fryer?

You explain it’s basically a small oven, capable of toasting, broiling, baking, roasting, you name it. They laugh. These generations that came after their own! Can’t even do a Thanksgiving without a second little oven! Ridiculous!

You help them get it started. As their respective dishes cook, Aunt Patty shows Aunt Miriam the dog she’s thinking about adopting. Tearfully, she says she’s not sure if it’s time yet, but Aunt Miriam hugs her and says that sweet Rudy would want her to be happy.