DUDE Wiper 1000 Self-Cleaning Dual-Nozzle Bidet Attachment
- Stupid name, good product
- Cleans, refreshes, and eliminates odor with a single spray
- The control panel is easy-to-use
- Self-cleaning
- Always a top-voted product in those “what’s one life-changing thing you can buy for under $100” Reddit threads
- Potential slogan: “Spray it, don’t say it”
Dude, For Real?
We’ve sold many bidet attachments over the years. Recently, on a sale for a different model than this, we received an interesting comment from user @TotallyRealAccount, saying:
Hey Meh! I love the idea of bidet attachment, but this one doesn’t fit my aesthetic. Is there any way you could sell one that appears as though it came out of a Sharper Image catalog from the 90s, but in an alternative reality, wherein Sharper Image was acquired by Spencer’s Gifts?
Well, @TotallyRealAccount, today is your lucky day!
Look, here’s the deal: you can install it in three simple steps, it has a very simple and intuitive control panel, and it’s designed to clean, refresh, and eliminate odor with a single spray. Also, it self-cleans. And yes, the name Dude Wiper 1000 might elicit some eye-rolls, but hey, it gets good reviews on Amazon and we’re selling it for really cheap here, okay?
But the biggest plus? Without wiping to worry about, your mind will be freed up while you’re taking a dump! Perhaps now you can finally start spending your bathroom time watching a toilet-related television series on your phone. Something like:
- Number Two Detective
- The Bear Down
- Ted Gasso
- Friday Night Shites
- The L Turd
- Sex & The Shitty
- Poo Blood
- Shit’s Creek
- The Young Poop
- S✱P✱L✱A✱S✱H
Wow, gross!
But hey, they call this bidet the Dude Wiper 1000, so it’s not our fault, okay? Anyway, buy it and stop using a thin piece of paper to clean yourself up.
