That's how we get you.

Why do we put several paragraphs here every day? Why do we bother paying someone (specifically, me, Meh writer @JasonToon) to write this stuff? Is it for results like this, from the last time we sold this CyberPower car-charger thingy?>I went from not interested at all to slightly considering it after reading the write up. Good job! - @Pantheist, Thu Sept. 29 2016No, not at all.Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to hear. I’ll definitely show that off to my bosses. But if I convince you to make a purchase you’ll regret, I’ve just created a problem. Dissatisfied customers are no good to us. Returns cost us money, which means we’d have to charge more, which means we couldn’t afford to offer deals like today’s (and every day’s). We try to discourage returns - partially by a “no givebacks unless it’s broken” return policy, it’s true, but also by warning you in the bluntest possible terms of why you shouldn’t buy something.My real job here is to keep you coming back. Chances are you won’t want what we’re selling on any given day, no matter what we say. So we have to give you something more than just a product page with some generic sales copy. We have to give you something entertaining, thought-provoking, or at least surprising. What I try to do every day is make you feel like you haven’t wasted your time coming here.If it works, it’s worth it for Meh to invest in this little daily story - and videos and a poll and a community, and all the people it takes to keep it running. Eventually, if you keep coming back, you’ll see something you want and buy it and be happy.The comment we’d really consider a sign of success would be one like “I liked the story so much yesterday, I came back again today.” Of course, if you ever want to post one about how the story convinced you to buy, please do! That wouldn’t exactly hurt my job security either.