Copper Cook 6-in-1 Pan Set
- It’s not actually made of copper, despite what it says.
- It’s actually just a 9.5”, 4.5 quart pan made of aluminum and steel with nonstick ceramic coating that’s copper colored.
- Which is sort of weird, but at least gives me a good idea about how to cut costs for my fledgling side business: Napkins Made Of Gold.
- You get a glass lid, a fry basket, and a steam insert.
- It is “6-in-1” because you can use the pan to “bake, deep-fry, roast, steam, saute or broil,” which, okay, fine… but you can a) use most pans to do that; and b) at least 3 of those things are versions of the same thing.
- PFOA, PTFE, and PFOS-Free, which are acronyms I 100% know.
- Model: TEK269 and also prolly an unfortunate username on some Silicon Valley hook-up app.
MORE USES!!!!
When you hear a name like “Meh” you might not think: oh, those people are AMBITIOUS! But we are. In fact, we’re often even more ambitious than some of the brands we sell. We’ve got big ideas, but we stifle them, because we don’t want to overshadow the products themselves with our amazing ingenuity.
That changes TODAY. We see this Copper Cook 6-in-1 Cookware Set and we think: this thing doesn’t have 6 uses. It clearly has at least 36 uses. And here they are:
- It can be a pan for sautéing.
- Use the basket for deep-frying.
- Use the steam insert to… steam stuff.
- Put it in the oven for baking.
- Use it for roasting, which is totally different than baking.
- Also, you can use it for broiling, which is totally different than both baking and roasting.
- Hey, broasting is a thing, right?
- If you put food in it before it’s hot, it’ll definitely keep that food room temperature.
- Fry basket = sweet steampunk butterfly net!
- Steam insert could be a stencil for drawing tiny circles?
- Use the pan to block the cat door from time to time to show your cat who runs shit around here.
- It’s a free jazz percussion set!
- Turn the pan upside down, put it on your head: boom! Hail protection helmet!
- No jai alai basket; no problem!
- Pan could also be a jai alai ball holder.
- And a squash racket.
- Hell, you could prolly also hit a baseball it if you just believe in yourself.
- And use it as a driver for wacky on-your-knees golf.
- Fill the pan up with water and put a gold fish in it, but be careful; it might blend in.
- Use the pan to smash a whole head’s worth of garlic cloves at the same time.
- On The Great British Baking Show, they always put their flour through strainers, so let’s do that here with the fry basket.
- We didn’t say “hard boiled egg maker” yet, did we?
- Butter melter.
- Talk into the pan and maybe it’ll sound cool maybe. (How are we only on 24?!)
- Break the glass lid and you’ve got yourself a nice stand-alone handle for teaching people about how handles work without having to use a real attached-to-something handle.
- Plus some glass for mosaics.
- Plus a big metal stencil for drawing rectangles with rounded edges.
- Put the fry basket over your face while sun-bathing for a cool Tron-inspired grid-tan face tattoo.
- Turn the fryer basket upside down, put it on your head: boom! Hail protection helmet WITH AIR FLOW!
- Sign your name on it. It’s art now.
- Put pennies in it because it’s good to score copper things in copper-colored vessels or something.
- Fill it with sand, put some ants in it. Viola: it’s an ant farm that respects the privacy of the ants that live in it.
- Fill it with milk and cereal for breakfasts served family style.
- Use it as inspiration for a product write-up.
- Sell it on your deal-a-day site.
- Use it to [Redacted. Reason: Use Too Sexy For Internet!]
See, it clearly has AT LEAST 36 uses. In fact, please feel free to name further uses in the comments!
