Comfort Zone 1500-Watt Indoor/Outdoor Electric Heater with Adjustable Thermostat

  • 1,500 watts of super versatile indoor/outdoor heating.
  • $34.99 gets you the thing. $49.99 gets you the thing plus a stand.
  • Included remote means you can adjust the temperature without having to crawl out from under that blanket with sleeves you bought off the TV.
  • Can it make a margarita? It can make a margarita tolerable outside in December.
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Not Today, Winter.

Winter is proof that humans will get used to anything if you make us deal with it enough times. Like when early cultures decided that a volcano was going to keep erupting all over their village if they didn’t throw someone in there every once in a while, people were just like “yep—that’s a thing now. Volcanos, amirite?”

So George R.R. Martin was really onto something when he came up with the concept where winter only comes around every so many years and whole generations grow up without knowing how fucked up it is until it finally happens.

Because think about it. Everything is fine on your little planet as far as you can tell, and then over a few months the daylight just starts going away, the leaves fall off the trees, and then it gets progressively colder until eventually if you try to stay outside too long you’ll just…die.

That’s weird!

But it turns out that you don’t have to just surrender to the cold. Even though many of us stay holed up in our houses when the temperature drops the way everybody hides from the dark on their first Minecraft night in one of those crappy dirt houses with no door, it turns out that it doesn’t have to be that way.

(What’s up with these references, eh? Fantasy novels. Video games. Yes, we are trying to lure some of you outside for a change. It’s for your own good. We read the comments here every day and some of ya’ll really need to touch grass.)

Regardless, what we all really need as the temps drop is to buy just a little more usable time in our cool outside and outside-adjacent spaces.

Think decks—backyard oasis in the summer, chilly patio furniture storage area in the winter. Or a sun porch—great spot to read a book on a warm afternoon, somehow actually colder than outside whenever the temps dip below 60.

Except it doesn’t have to be that way. Because it turns out that your living spaces don’t have to be divided into “places connected to the HVAC” and “places not connected to the HVAC.” You can also have this cozy little gray area where you hook this thing up and it turns a cold place into a warm place.

You can mount it on the wall like some sort of tool-owning adult or you can spend an extra ten bucks on a stand and effortlessly stick it wherever you want. It’s honestly pretty freaking remarkable for $34.99, especially when you consider that it can take whole chunks of your house and turn them from not usable to usable with just the push of a button (on the included remote).

Winter is coming, as they say. You don’t have to give in without a fight.

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