Bubba 128oz Sport Jug
- 128-ounce gigundajug for your jury, hockey team, or Brady Bunch cosplay group: that’s a whole gallon
- By all accounts its dual polyurethane walls and BPA-free foam insulation keep things as crazy insulated as the smaller Bubba vessels we’ve sold: ice cubes not melting all day, coffee staying hot through a long event, that kind of thing
- One-handed no-drip nozzle, or as the kids said in like 2002, nozzizzle
- Model: 1953387 (Bubba I got your number, I’m gonna you make you mine, Bubba don’t change that number)
The Amazing Colossal Bubba
“Stokes! What are you doing here? Assistants aren’t supposed to be in the lab after hours.”
“You shouldn’t talk to me that way, Dr. Holt. You shouldn’t have come here at all.”
“What? How dare you? What the devil’s gotten into you, man?”
“Remember how you ‘borrowed’ my Bubba mug? The one you never gave back?”
“Yes, of course. Er, sorry, it keeps slipping my mind.”
“It doesn’t keep slipping your mind. I see you walking around here with it every day, enjoying hot hot coffee and ice cold water all day long, while my own drinks go tepid. I’m just a lowly assistant, who cares how I feel? Right, Dr. Holt?”
“See here, Stokes, if you’ve broken into the lab just to retrieve some mug - even a remarkably insulated, extremely effective one - that would be grounds for dismissal.”
“I’m not just here to retrieve it, Dr. Holt. Oh, it started that way. But as I was rifling through your desk for my mug, I found something else. The file on Room 17A.”
“The growth ray! Stokes, that’s highly classified, not to mention dangerous! Do you have any idea how powerful that apparatus is?”
“I do now, Dr. Holt. Oh, I do now.”
“That - that rumbling sound! Coming from the direction of Room 17A! What is it?”
“I think you know exactly what it is. I think you know it’s coming for you. All 128 ounces of it.”
“128 ounces? Are you mad? Unhand me, Stokes! Let me go! Please! Don’t let it - don’t let it get me!”
“At least you know one thing, Dr. Holt. Your body will stay warm for a long, long time.”
