Goodies for Oldies

Most grownups reading this probably have wine glasses, yeah? Wine glasses are just part of the minimal adult kit you have to acquire to demonstrate youve basically got your act together.But maybe somethings happened and you find yourself without. Maybe youre single again. Maybe youre accident prone. Maybe all yours got stomped in a series of Jewish weddings you hosted in your home. Time to stock up; grownups need wine glasses.Its true even if you dont drink wine. Sooner or later some bougie acquaintance is going to show up at your place (you do have your own grownup place, right?) with a bottle to contribute to the dinner (you do have grownup dinner parties, right?) and youre going to look like a schmuck if you serve it out in your [vintage Great Muppet Caper tumblers][1].Can I get real with you for a second? This is Meh staffer @matthew talking. I dont use wine glasses. I dont like the stems. I find them too delicate or something. I always prefer glassware with a low center of gravity. (Later for those tall pilsner glasses or cocktail glasses. Ill take pretty much anything to drink in an Old Fashioned glass, thanks. Exception: Capri Sun, the serving of which in any vessel besides its traditional poche would be scandalously gauche.)So when its wine time chez moi, I reach for a short tumbler, and I dont mean Simone Biles. For no good reason, I call this unorthodox presentation Italian style as a half-sarcastic quasi-joke. Not that its funny. Its just a stupid thing I say, as in: Ill take my wine Italian style, thanks. In my head, this quip somehow excuses or explains my odd preference. Maybe people are supposed to think Im worldly when they hear it that Ive dined and drunk over authentic red-checkered tablecloths in Tuscany, or some shit. Outside my head, everyone just thinks I drink wine wrong.Dont be like me. Be an adult. Obtain wine glasses, and use them. Else your peers will look on you with pity and scorn. Which, I can tell you, is gonna hurt. Because you cant just brush off with a flippant cash me ousside anymore. Youre a grownup. [1]: http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/The_Great_Muppet_Caper_glasses_(McDonald's)