Beautyrest Extraordinaire 18 inch Queen Air Mattress with Built-in Pump

  • Edge support system, no tilt base, and a convenient plug-in inset air pump
  • Inflate or deflate the air bed in under 3 minutes
  • The Beautyrest Silver Extraordinaire allows up to 700 pounds
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We've Created A Monster

Anyone else getting tired of the same old monsters. Dracula? More like Drab-ula! Zombies? A bunch of real zom-bozos! Werewolves? Get-the-hell-outta-here, wolves! Enough with the masked killers using gardening implements, with the typical ghosts and ghouls, and enough with the clowns! No, it’s about time we forge a bold new direction in horror. I’ve even roped in our own resident monster-sculptor @KoolHandJoe for his expert opinions on the matter. Let’s see what we’ve got.


The city isn’t safe anymore as a series of strange deaths occur downtown. Yes, it would seem pens have been falling from the sky. Pens, not pennies, because I have learned that the whole coin-dropped-off-the-Empire-State-Building myth is bunk. The height they are dropping from is high enough that they can pierce through people’s skulls. Kind of Final Destination-y. Is it something supernatural? Is it a new serial killer? Freak accident? We’ll just have to find out.

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Who's buying this crap?