ALC Connect Plus Complete Home/Business Security
- Cover your assets with this 8-piece home security system
- Everything connects to your mobile device via the included hub, which is like the brain
- The pan/tilt camera delivers 1080p HD video, and is like the eyes
- The 2 window/door sensors go off upon unexpected entry, and are like the ears, sorta
- The motion sensor is like a “second eye”
- The 2 power switches can turn on flood lights or other electronics, and are like the … mitochondria? This is getting hard
- The 2 remote controls can be used to arm and disarm, and are like the autonomic ganglia
- Model: AHS627-23 (We’re so sorry, students at Alstonville High School in Cawley, Australia, that not only did your school administrators post all the pictures from your 2014 formal dance, but they indexed the page so it would show up in search results for strings containing “AHS.” You all look marvelous, though.)
Protecting Your Most Valuable Asset -- Itself
You might think you don’t need a fancy home security system since you don’t own anything worth stealing. But you will own at least one thing worth stealing: your fancy home security system.
We know you don’t have nice things. You’re shopping at Meh on New Year’s Day — you’re clearly a dedicated crappy deals hunter. And why would a potential thief want your candy corn or fridge batteries?
They wouldn’t, but they’d love to get their hands on your ALC Connect Plus Complete Home Security System. That’s why you need something to protect this valuable asset. Something like this ALC Connect Complete Home Security System.
It’s got a full HD pan/tilt camera that keeps an electronic eye on your most valuable assets like the 2 door/window switches that will alert your phone if anybody enters to burgle your expensive electronics like the 2 power switches that connect to the hub and can shine lights on your intruder before they snatch your most prized possessions like the motion sensor that detects as they enter your living room to pilfer the 2 remote controls.
Of course, it’s silly to think that a home security system can protect itself. That’s why you should probably buy a second ALC system to maintain a secure perimeter around the area secured by the first system. And a third ALC system to foil would-be purloiners of the second system. You might think the first system could do that job, but it will be busy protecting the fourth system that you buy to protect the third.
And you thought you didn’t own anything worth stealing.