Alarming Aliens & Menacing Machines

  • Amazing two-arm-hole design
  • Flawless collar
  • Classic references
  • What would the director of Alien be named if he stopped speaking in frustrating brain teasers: Straightforwardly Scott
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Arnold (& the Alien)

“Arnold,” said the designer standing up from his desk. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

Though in his seventies, the man remained as intimidating as ever and his handshake betrayed his once colossal strength had not fully faded. “Thanks for having me,” Arnold said.

“It’s just that I wanted to go over some of the promotional materials–”

No sooner had the designer said the words that he heard a buzzing. Arnold, hovering over the seat pulled out for him, took his phone from his pocket. “I’m sorry. I need to take this. Mind if I step out?”

“Sure,” said the designer, but he couldn’t help himself. “And then what?”

“I’ll come back into the room,” said Arnold, “and you can show me the materials.”

“So you could say…” The designer let the sentence hang.

“That I’ll only be a minute?” Arnold said, his brow furrowing with confusion.

“Only a minute before what?” said the designer.

“Before I’ll return,” Arnold said.

“So close!” cried the designer.

Arnold frowned. “You’re just trying to get me to ‘I’ll be back,’ aren’t you? Well, listen, I have news for you. I might be a celebrity, an icon even, but that doesn’t mean I’m your dancing monkey, okay? I demand respect.”

The designer hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

Arnold looked at his phone. “Well, I missed it. I can call them back later. You might as well show me what you’ve got.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” said the designer. He splayed the papers out on the desk in front of him.

“Why so large?” Arnold said. “And with such a big border? I’d like it cut down. Order different ones, resized, just the central image.”

The designer looked at the materials as if sick to his stomach. “I don’t think there’s enough time to re-order. We’ll have to cut them down individually.”

Arnold was already on his way out the door, his eyes on his phone. He paused at the threshold. “Well then, I guess you’ll have to… get to the chopper.”

And with that, he left.

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