6-Pack: Unsimply Stitched Men's Gift Box Socks with Holiday Themes

  • Socks but… fun?
  • Now I’ve heard everything
  • 6 pairs of socks (12 individual socks)
  • Holiday socks included
  • Nice gift boxes
  • Model: 0N-TH3-50CK5
see more product specs

Bringing Socksy Back

Dear Professor Dormley,

Thank you so much for your swift response to my previous letter. As a leader in the field of seasonal cheer-related alchemy, I imagine this is a very busy time of year for you. So I am honored you would share with me, a mere sock company employee, your advice concerning the distillation of pure holiday spirit with which we can then infuse our holiday product line.

Unfortunately, given that I am a beginner in this, I must ask a few follow-up questions regarding the instructions you provided:

  1. Where exactly does one acquire an anesthetized reindeer? Or do you have to find a reindeer and a reindeer anesthesiologist?

  2. How long must the mistletoe soak in “the marinade of yule” before it becomes “an aphrodisiac of near nuclear proportions”? And, in terms of the ensuing “revelry,” would it be possible for you to include a diagram? I often found myself confused about the configuration, so to speak.

  3. The phrase “bow of pythons” comes up a lot without much explanation; is this a metaphorical name for a bow variety with which I am unfamiliar? It could not possibly be a literal bow of pythons, right?

  4. Are there any Elvish-to-English dictionaries you would recommend? For reasons of emphasis, I would like to understand the meaning of the incantation: “I giive to they miine ouwn zoul iin ezchaang o’th’zpiirrit o’th’holdaii.”

  5. In terms of storage, once the holiday spirit is successfully siphoned from the incapacitated reindeer’s nostril into the barrel, how long will it keep, assuming cool, dry conditions?

Again, thank you so much for your help. Once these questions are answered I shall be well on my way to infusing our already festive holiday socks with even more festivity than ever before!

Delrick Clempson
Senior Sock Engineer
Unsimply Stitched Socks

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