Try To Understand

If you’ve never used protein powder, it’s probably because you’re a little intimidated by it. And we don’t mean that in a rude, “lol, look at this wuss” sort of way either. Protein powder is intimidating. Mostly because it seems to be marketed directly to the most gym-ratty of gym rats. And so, even if you work out on the regular, there’s a solid chance you’d see something like today’s product and be like, “Eh, this stuff looks super intense, so it’s probably not for me.”

But it is! Or, it could be. And today we’re going to help you find out by translating Performix’s pseudo-scientific product copy into basic, normal-person English.

Let’s start with this one:

This isn’t your average plant protein. Like our ioWHEY, ioPLANT utilizes io technology, which increases its bioavailability and allows your body to absorb more protein. Post-Workout Natural ioPLANT Protein is formulated with 18 servings and 21g of ioPLANT Pea Protein clinically shown to have an amino acid bioequivalency of 55g of the standard pea protein isolate.

Those 56 words can be boiled down to this: you get a good chunk of protein here. 21 grams to be exact. But it’ll feel like 55 grams, maybe? Also, it comes from plants.

Let’s try another:

Formulated with pea, pumpkin, sunflower, and watermelon-based protein so you can have a power recovery, build muscle and strength naturally like a whey protein can but without stomach discomfort or sacrificing taste. ioPLANT’s delicious, game-changing Vanilla Oat flavor stands above the competition.

Basically, they put a bunch of plants together to make a thing you can drink after exercising. It fills you up and keeps you from crashing but isn’t a total gut bomb.

One more:

Performix Protein Post Workout is powered by io, Ingredient Optimized. io is a patent-pending process that naturally modifies the molecular structure of ingredients. Through this visionary application, the structure of protein is altered, resulting in increased bioavailability and efficacy, ensuring that you get MORE from less. Performix is the proprietary provider of io.

Oof, wowza. We guess this means… it’s… like… efficient… or something?

Okay, look, we can’t explain it all. The big takeaway here is that this stuff will help you recover from a grueling workout, whether that means dead-lifting 500 pounds or doing hand weights for 20 minutes. And we’ll send you a whole bunch of it for not much money.

So if you’re a powder-head, or just powder-curious, maybe get some!