6-Pack of Assorted Terrapin Ridge Farm Garnishing Squeezes
- A 6-pack of “garnishing squeezes” in your choice of savory or spicy flavors
- Some of the aioli varieties are spicy, and some of the savory varieties are aioli
- But they’re all tasty AF
- Model: 64RN15H-1T-L1K3-U-M34N-1R
Your New Main Squeeze
Ah yes, the “garnishing squeeze”! That phrase everyone knows and uses frequently! Personally, I love to apply a garnishing squeeze to a cylinder of bovine-based protein served as the centrifuge of two risen carbohydrates! Because this is certainly the way us humans talk about our nutritional endeavors!
But, okay, seriously, what’s going on here?
Like, is the word “condiment” one of those capital-letter, secretly-a-proper-noun things like Kleenex or Ping Pong? Were they worried that people would think these were meal replacement shakes? Did they imagine consumers were going to pick these things up and be like, “It looks delicious, but I am uncertain of the mechanism with which to propel the bottle’s interior substance into the greater world!”
Can I be honest, though? I’m really only making fun because I think Terrapin Ridge Farms is underselling their product.
“Garnishing” squeeze? I think of a garnish as the leaf under the tray of wings or the spring of parsley on the corner of the plate to bring a meal that needed pop of green. But these things? I’m not going to garnish anything with them. Sure, I could coat some sliced turkey in the delicious bacon aioli. And I very well might slather some roast beef with that sriracha horseradish sauce. But I would never take anything so robust as these various “garnishing squeezes” and do something so dainty as garnish with them. That’d be ridiculous! They’re too tasty for that!
And I know, because I visited their respective Amazon pages and saw all the glowing reviews.
You know what else I saw there? Photos of attractive-looking dishes in which these fine Terrapin Ridge Farms “garnishing squeezes” have been put to use. Which is totally cool! Hearty, healthy, home-cooked meals are great!
But if you ask me, this is another example of underselling the product. Because what is a good condiment if not a way to polish a real turd of a meal? That super simple egg sandwich you made in, like, ten minutes? Put a little jalapeño aioli on that thing, and suddenly it’s something you’d pay $15 for at brunch! That scrawny little frozen black bean burger you packed for your lunch break? Throw a little pesto aioli on that thing, and ooh la la! It’s like you run a bistro!
So grab a spicy or savory 6-pack today, and enjoy some truly tasty “garnishing squeezes,” aka sauces, aka condiments, aka spreads to use on everything from your gourmet dinners to your depressing in-a-rush breakfasts.
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6-Pack of Assorted Terrapin Ridge Farm Garnishing Squeezes 102
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Best basic condiment: 30
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Oh, but you meant actually. 8 -
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