5-Pack Juniper Clean 72ct Disinfectant Surface Wipes with Bleach

$0.03 per wipe

  • Spring is coming
  • That means pollen
  • That means sneezing
  • Sneezing means a lot of snotty molecules settling onto your countertops
  • You get 360 total wipes in five 72ct packs
  • Cleans hard surfaces with the power of bleach
  • Use them on that disgusting toilet
  • Model: JUN1P3RF3CT
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Pollen Is Coming

We’ll get to these wipes in a minute.

But first a reminder: spring is upon us! And you know what that means? The flowers will soon be abloom, giving life that pop of color that it’s been lacking throughout the cold, dark months of winter! And you know what else it means?


Seriously, so much fucking pollen.

We’re talking enough invisible dust to make even those with hearty allergen defense systems sneeze and rub their eyes. Only, it’s not invisible, is it? Because you can see it when it settles in a thin yellow coating on your car.

We mention this last part to illustrate a basic fact: all things come to rest eventually, even something as fine as pollen, even in the great wide open gusty outdoors.

And that means all the nasty, snotty molecules you expel when you suffer one of those aforementioned pollen-induced sneezes? They also come to rest. And what’s more, you’ll be lucky if they come to rest somewhere outside.

But what if you release that sneeze in your house? What if you get a big honker that takes you by such surprise you have no time to pull out your hanky or even raise a hand to block the explosion? Where’s that stuff going to end up?

On your kitchen counter. Or your dining room table. Or your bed. Or, well, anywhere. And we’d guess it’ll probably get there a lot quicker than it would outside, given the airflow. Which is to say nothing of absentmindedly wiping the regions of your face formerly known as your eyes and/or nose, but which have transformed into a trio of mucus faucets, and then setting said hand down on some surface or another.

What we’re saying is that the germs will find a way into your life. There’s no way to prevent it. There are only ways to show those germs the door. And these juniper-scented wipes with bleach are one such way.

So buy them, and just accept the cruel, disgusting reality of being a human during allergy season.

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