440-Pack: Instant Eye-Shadow
- Yes, we are selling a 440-pack of instant eye shadow.
- It’ll come in 220 individually packaged 2-packs of applications.
- Each “application” here consists of 2 applicators (two for each eye), which means, if you’re a mythical cyclops, this is basically an 880 pack!
- So, even if you’re crazy into eye shadow and wear it every day, you won’t need any more for at least a year and a couple months.
- Or you could buy 3 440 packs and have eye-shadow for 1,320 straight days.
- Imagine how different the world will be when you run out of eye-shadow!
- Model:
Finder, Keepers
There’s basic relief. And then there’s the relief of finding that perfect something you’ve been looking for: that hair gel that works just right with your hair; that pair of running shoes that seems to be custom-built for your unique foot shape; that cut of jeans that fits like a dream.
That kind of relief can feel almost euphoric, because it’s basically freedom. You don’t need to sample anymore. You don’t need to settle. That little operation in your brain that you’ve been forever running in the background, looking for that special something, can be discontinued, the energy rerouted.
But as strong as the relief can be, it is often matched by the subsequent disappointment. They tinkered with the formula of the hair gel. They changed the shape of the running shoe. They make the jeans out of a different, rougher denim now, and they don’t fit quite like they used to. You’re back to square one, but really you’re back to somewhere before square one, because it’s harder to start a search when you thought you were finished. Life will forever be an uphill battle…
Unless, you had the good sense to purchase 440 units at the outset.
That’s why we’re selling eye shadow this way. We’re not saying it’s going to be what you’ve been searching for all these years. But, for $15, it’s worth trying. If you love it? Good news: you have 219.5 more 2-packs remaining. If you don’t? I don’t know… give the rest to a local theater and call it a charitable donation? It’s not the worst thing in the world.
And perhaps we should remind you that you can buy three. As in, three orders of 440. Which means you could go… let me just get my calculator… 1,320 days straight without buying more eye line-- Oh no! The calculator is melting! IT’S TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH, I SAY! TOO MUCH! PULL UP! ABORT! ABORT!!
