40-Pack: N95 NIOSH-Certified Particulate Respirator Masks
- No-nonsense N95 masks
- The certification level you lust after, maybe
- Highly adjustable for a tight fit
- Model: N-95-THATSABINGO
Attention mask snobs.
This one is for all the real pandemic mitigation enthusiasts out there.
It seems like only yesterday when you were sitting there in March of 2020, thinking that N95 was just a shitty BINGO call and having no discernible opinion on things like spike proteins, let alone monoclonal antibodies.
But look at you now, with your effortless command of infection statistics and impeccable standards for mask certifications. It’s like you leveled up in a video game and now have the really good armor. If only you could go back in time to find that pandemic newbie version of yourself, running around like an idiot with some weird bandana around your face, trying to find the last package of toilet paper in town.
You’ve come a long way, baby. Two years later and here you are, keeping an eye out for really good deals on quality masks—not just KN95s, but N95s. The gold standard.
It’s kind of a lame occasion for celebrating a gold standard, though. It’s like having the very best toilet plunger. Not exactly exciting, but…great when you need it.
Well, today’s deal is definitely great when you need it. And, sorry to say this, but…you still need it.
Maybe you won’t need these all the time and maybe you won’t need these for too much longer, but if you’re the kind of person who scanned this headline and got excited when you saw that these were bonafide N95s, you’re almost certainly the kind of person who will need at least 40 more to get through the home stretch of this whole thing.
It’s the coveted NIOSH-certified respirator mask. It doesn’t have the stupid valve on the front that makes you look like the Star Wars sand people (that’s not a slur, right?), but it does have the awesome straps that secure to your thick, meaty head instead of your bendy and delicate ears.
If you’ve made it all the way down to the bottom of this, you’re either a mask nerd who needs to get ordering or you’re just hate-scrolling again. If you’re the latter, hello you self-flagellating weirdo!
But if you’re the former, go ahead and order while supplies last. Happy masking!