Real Thin

One of the previous times we sold these big towels, @werehatrack said:

Very thin. As in, kitchen towel thin. Most paper towels are thicker.

@bobthenormal quickly replied:

woah, they aren’t thick but you must be using paper towels wrong if you’re finding them thicker than these… They’re about twice as thick as a normal paper towel. Maybe the same thickness as blue shop paper towels but even comparing to those there’s also material/density to think of… Hold these up to a bright light and nothing gets through, they’re super dense and very sturdy.

But @werehatrack wasn’t about to back down so easily:

Measured thickness: 0.38mm for the Wise Owl fabric. Measured thickness of four different brands of household paper towel, 0.19mm to 0.41mm. (The thinnest was Sam’s Club Member’s Mark.) Blue shop towels, off-brand, 0.27mm, Scott 0.43mm. Unknown brand small microfiber non-terry kitchen towel, 0.61mm. Blue ShamWow, 0.84mm uncompressed (used, washed several times) (The yellow ones are a lot thicker.) Compressed thickness of the blue sham is dependent upon the clamping pressure, but the micrometer’s thimble friction would only take it to 0.53mm.

At which point @bobthenormal had to admit defeat:

I’m surprised by the thickness, I would have guessed they were closer to 1mm by looking at them. At least my guess comparing them to the Scott’s towels was pretty good!

Well, actually, “admit defeat” might be a bit of a misrepresentation. There was some discussion of measuring soft material with calipers and how perhaps folding and pressing down would be helpful and… ugh… look, who fucking cares?

But this incredibly annoying conversation did actually bear some fruit. Which is the knowledge that, hey, these are pretty thin.

As noted in this conversation (and other comments within this conversation because, yes, the above is the abridged version) these probably won’t keep you warm and, likewise, won’t protect you from really hot sand.

There are, however, still some uses for them.

As our friend @bobthenormal says:

I use them to dry things, cover things, or wipe off things. Got these huge ones to throw on dusty outdoor chairs when I want to sit outside without having to hose them off first. Might try to use them to avoid touching the nasty workout mats at the gym while stretching. And they are an excellent way to wrap the bodies and transport them to their shallow beach graves.

We endorse all but that last use!

@Fuzzalini adds that they’re wonderful in aiding canine cleanliness:

After having them for a while, they have come in handy repeatedly. It rained recently and I used them to cover the area by the front door to keep the wet paw prints from getting everywhere. And they do a great job when the dogs are done with their baths to keep their wet fur off the furniture and floor.

So, useful enough, right?

We just want you to know: they’re not big, fluffy beach towels. That has been made very, very clear to us.

Also, they’re extremely large. Did we mention that part? It’s important.