Buzz Off

The bugs buzzing around your house: where do those little fucks come from?

Cartoons have conditioned us to think that, in order to breed a bunch of bugs, one must be surrounded by stink lines and piles of garbage. Bugs are, we’re told, embarrassing.

And yet, there are plenty of times when your house looks spick and span, and yet somehow, you can’t eat dinner without swatting away some little fruit flies. Or an errant mosquito. Or whatever.

Probably there’s some explanation. A piece of fruit rolled out of the fruit bowl into some corner where it festers, unseen, providing a feast for a family of winged micro-beasts. Or you leave the door open just a minute too long and something flies in. Or they hitch a ride on a plant you bought at an outdoor garden center.

It doesn’t really matter.

Point is, once they’re in, they multiply. And multiply. And multiply.

It’s impressive in some ways: the completely efficient yet unnuanced way they increase their numbers. Or, it would be impressive. If it weren’t so annoying.

Luckily, this same thoughtless approach to life can be used to bring about their death.

Like, look at this trap. There are no chemicals, no cutting-edge technology, no frequencies or pheromones or what have you.

Instead, it’s light and a sticky pad.

The bugs fly towards the light and then get stuck on the sticky pad.

At any point is a moth going to be like: “Hey, fellas. You know that light over there? Well, I’ve noticed something disturbing. Many of our comrades fly to it, but they never seem to come back. Instead, they all seem to linger there, unmoving. Should we perhaps proceed with more caution?”

No way!

They’re gonna be like, “Oh sick! A light!” And then fly to their death.

In fact, the only way one of these things stops working is if the covering of bugs gets so thick that there’s no surface for further bugs to stick to. In which case, you toss the pad and put in one of the included refills.

And you get four traps, by the way, for maximal bug killing throughout your house.

So buy some bug traps. They’ll kill bugs in a very simple way.