Snap It

To talk about today’s product, we’ve brought in your uncle who doesn’t realize how hooked on the internet he is. Take it away, Unc!

This camera? I think it’s great. Takes film? You have to actually get the pictures developed? Sign me up. But moreover, sign the youth up.

Because we have a technology addiction epidemic in this country.

I tell you, kids these days. They can’t enjoy anything without putting it online. They see a beautiful sunset, they immediately whip out their phone. And this isn’t just speculation, mind you. I saw a picture of it on Facebook! A beautiful sunset over a beach, and underneath it, it’s just people doing selfies and making videos.

Disgusting!

I posted it to my timeline and, surprise, surprise: no replies from any of my nieces and nephews. It can be tough to learn hard truths about yourself.

Here, I’ll show you. Let me just scroll down a second.

Is that it? Nope. That’s about water treatment. And this one’s about unlikely animal friends.

This one’s about a mailman in Japan reuniting with a boy he delivered mail to, only now the boy’s an adult and the mailman’s old. Touching stuff.

And this one’s about the longest sandwich in the world.

Sorry, this is taking so long. You have to understand, I posted the sunset thing nearly a day and a half ago, so it’s gonna take a minute to get to.

But you get the point, right? Today’s young people walk around with their heads down so much, looking at photo-sharing apps on their phones, scientists project that by 2055, no one will be able to stand up straight. That’s from a real study. A friend of mine shared it the other day. Want to see?

No?

Typical of your generation. No intellectual curiosity.

Point is, it’s just like the US Cellular Commercials that play before my four-wheeler videos say: it’s ironic how our phones are supposed to bring us together, but really they keep us apart.

What do you mean, ‘why don’t I skip the ads’? Why would I do that? There’s valuable stuff in those sometimes! I’ve learned a lot about my gut health, for example.

Look, this isn’t about me, okay? I’m not the one who needs to unplug! The kids are!

Which is why they should buy one of these cameras, you know, so they can step away from their devices but still remember all the fun they had, and see that they don’t need ‘Instagram’ to get through the day.

Anyway, I gotta go. Sorry. My buddy Hank is calling me. We both listen to the same Harpoon Hunters recap podcast and like to discuss it over a video call.

Go buy a camera and cut down the screen time, why don’t you?