Not stolen from a bar.

The United Nations continues to resist our call for a worldwide Moscow Mule mug amnesty. Yeah, fine, walking out of a bar with their Moscow Mule mug is technically “theft”, if you’re going to split hairs. But it was a crazy time. Are we really going to ban an entire generation from every bar in town? Isn’t it “cruel and unusual” to keep someone’s driver’s license over a mere drinking vessel?

Well, if the international community refuses to act, we will. But it’s going to take some truth & reconciliation, people.

Reformed mug pirates, present one of these 20-ounce copper Moscow Mule mugs to each tavern owner whose mugs you previously annexed. It won’t be easy, but it’s up to you to start the healing.

Bar owners, your task is to accept this offering in the spirit of forgiveness, and re-admit the offenders to your premises. Not only is it the right thing to do, it’s the only way you’re ever going to get any money out of them.

Of course, if you weren’t caught up in the Great Mug Grab of 2013, you can simply buy these for yourself and enjoy this popular vodka cocktail in your own home. Don’t worry, none of the proceeds will go to Vladimir Putin. All you need is vodka, ice, lime juice, ginger beer, and mint. No painful process of soul-searching required.

Just take one word of advice: be careful who you invite over for a drink.