Keep It Simple.

Did you know why when astronauts first went to the moon they did it with technology that was on par with an early 1990s pocket calculator in terms of power? Because they needed that shit to work.

It’s not like they didn’t have access to better stuff. According to the Wikipedia entry we just edited, the first iPhone was released in 1956, shortly after Steve Jobs came down the birth canal holding an early prototype telling his mom to quit screaming and “think different” for once.

But honestly, even if you had access to an iPhone to power your space flight, wouldn’t you rather have something way more bare bones that you know isn’t going to fail in some stupid way when it matters most? Imagine the last time your smartphone gave you that spinny circle error or dropped a call for no apparent reason. Only instead of ruining your potential Candy Crush high score it sent you shrieking to your death in the furthest depths of the vacuum of space.

Bummer, right?

Well, a walkie-talkie operates with a similar principle.

It’s super old, super basic tech that’ll be there for you when you need it. It’s why emergency dispatchers use this kind of thing. It’s not like you can leave someone dying of a head wound somewhere because the ambulance has no cell service after hitting their data cap streaming old episodes of “ER” or whatever those guys do in between calls.

By the way, are pagers still a thing? Because if pagers are still a thing, they’re still a thing for the exact same reason. Oh and drugs. Yeah they’re probably still a thing regardless. Neat.

Anyway, if you’re the kind of person who ever finds yourself in the kind of rough and tumble situation that you can’t text your way out of with some snarky emojis, today’s deal might be the brilliantly simple, instant communication devices for you.

These suckers have up to 20 miles of range. They also work on both FRS and GMRS frequencies, an important feature that we definitely understand.

Oh, and we’re even going to send you three, opening the door for the deep woods over-the-air love triangle you’ve always wanted.

It’s a solid price, too, by the way.

Just buy these.

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Over and out!