What Product Knowledge?

We have no idea how you take bamboo and make it into a pillow.

There we said it.

Of all the plants that aren’t trees, it’s probably the least likely candidate to be a good fit for such a thing. Except maybe…a cactus. Those are also notoriously poor pillows.

So while we’re sure there’s some very sophisticated process to take the hard sticks that pandas use to look thoughtful and Singapore uses for punishing tourists, and turn it into something that is wonderfully soft and cool on your head, we have no idea what that process is and definitely don’t have the resources to look it up right now.

See…we could understand these products better, but that would take time. And time is money. So instead of wasting a bunch of money-time (time-money?) on googling this real quick, we fill a warehouse with products we only marginally understand and pass the savings on to yooooooouu!

Seriously, there are marketing outfits who would expense a trip to the pillow factory then participate in a zen tea lunch and napping seminar before reluctantly agreeing that their copywriter now has sufficient knowledge and context to craft a compelling narrative around the pillow’s pRoduCt eXpERienCe or whatever the hell.

That’s how you end up with $90 pillows sitting on store shelves during an economic era featuring DoorDash offering four-pay financing for room-temperature Wendy’s.

Not here, though. We gave our copywriter a fistful of bills from the petty cash coffee can in the breakroom, a link to a comparable Amazon listing, and a crude doodle explaining how a pillow works.

So if you’re ever wondering how we offer stuff so inexpensively, that’s one of the ways we offer stuff so inexpensively.

Maybe when your head hits this pillow, you’ll think of us. (Maybe not, though. We’re flattered and all, but it’s a little weird.)