Too late It’s over

2-Pack: Naipo oCuddle Heated Shiatsu Neck and Shoulder Massager

Powerful shiatsu massage for your neck and shoulders
Yes, we see that they seem to be lowkey marketing this as a hug robot.
You get two—one to share!
What else comes in twos? Your mediocritee order, if you do it right.

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Wum Tidings to All

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“Oh, this? It’s a personal massager that I’ve wrapped around my neck.”

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“Yeah, it’s deeply therapeutic with serious shiatsu massage. Shoulders, too, now that I think about it.

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“It makes me less sore, and if I’m being honest, it provides a profound sense of peace and well-being. I really cannot imagine navigating this holiday season or any other part of the year without this powerfully comforting mechanical embrace.”

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“No, you can’t have a turn.”

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[Awkward television watching intensifies]

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Here’s the thing about owning something like this, you selfish monster. You can’t just sit there enjoying an awesome massage while telling your closest friends and loved ones to pound sand and wait their turn, especially since we both know that their turn will never come.

So what happens is you end up either using this in the presence of others and awkwardly enduring the penetrating shiatsu-less stare of those nearby, or holing up on your own, which feels more than a little lonely and weird—just you and your hug robot.

No, that won’t do. Which is why we’re sending two. For just $17.495* a piece, you and someone else can each bask in blissful robot massage whenever you want, side by side.

So order yours. Get two. Share generously. Everyone will be glad you did.

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(Yeah, we wish there was a way to make that pricing math work out less awkwardly, too, but what are you gonna do, eh?)

2-Pack: Naipo oCuddle Heated Shiatsu Neck and Shoulder Massager

Wum Tidings to All

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