A Place For Your Phone

“Hey dad,” said the boy, stepping into the study. “Can I ask you about something?”

The father snapped his fingers and the hologram of the newspaper disappeared. “Sure thing, son. What is it?”

“So, I was in VR the other day,” said the boy, “and I was exploring some classic cars from the early 1990s, and I was curious, were there smartphones then?”

The father shook his head. “Not really, no. At least, not like they became.”

“But then why were there the holes between the front seat for the adjustable phone holders that we all use?” asked the boy. “The ones that allow us easy access to our smartphones for things like navigation and whatnot.”

“People of the past called those ‘cup holders,’” said the father.

“What’s a cup?” the boy asked.

“To explain that, you’ll need a little history lesson,” said the father. “Sit down, son.”

The boy sat on the floor.

“A long time ago, there were things called countries, by which I mean different places that governed themselves,” said the father. “But they eventually came together and formed what we call WholeEarth.”

“Okay,” said the boy.

“And WholeEarth, as you know, has one elected leader at the helm,” said the father.

“Sure,” said the boy.

“Well, the third elected leader was a very corrupt man named Zebulonis,” said the father. “And he sold our planet’s water on the great Evaporators, a race of aliens from the Tarlok galaxy who use moisture as currency. Without water, the planet was doomed. Luckily, though, Doctor Malvins swooped in and introduced the Hydro-Nutri-Laser that we now use today for all hydration and nutritional needs.”

“But what does this have to do with… what were they called again?” the boy said. “‘Cups’?”

“It’s simple,” said the father. “Before the Great Evaporation, people hydrated with liquids rather than lasers. And the vessels that held said liquids were called cups. So those holes you saw were originally put there for if humans required hydration while driving.”

“Huh,” said the boy. “But isn’t it weird that we still have cars that have holes in them for our phone holders? Like wouldn’t the phone holders be built-in by now? Or, on the other hand, wouldn’t the technology have developed in such a way that we no longer use smartphones? I mean, you were reading a hologram newspaper when I came in here.”

The father sighed. “What you have to understand, son, is that none of this is real. It’s just product copy for a deal site. And given there is a new product every day, the writer doesn’t have time to go back and fix these very obvious plot holes.”

“Wait,” said the son. “This is product copy? For what? The phone holder things? They’re barely discussed!”

“Strange, isn’t it?” said the father.

“What kind of site lets this stuff be a stand-in for actual product copy?” The boy asked.

“One without much editorial oversight, it would seem,” said the father. “Now, let’s stop talking so this can be over.”

“Okay,” said the boy. And they stopped talking. And it was over.