2-for-Tuesday: Mad Ape Den Wine & Meh Wine (2-Pack or Mixed Case of 12)

  • “Mad Ape Den” is a language game which prohibits words longer than three letters. It’s also a Bordeaux style blend that lends itself nicely to a plethora of palatal pairings!
  • Features a trinocular gorilla-beast on the label
  • Meh Zinfandel mix is a 2014 Central Coast California Zin blend selected by our own So-So Sommelier
  • Dryish, jammy undertones, ripe berry and plum notes, and a sweet oaky finish bodacious tannins
  • Irk on the label
  • You have to be at least 21 to buy, and to sign upon delivery. LITERALLY, BY THE CALENDAR, no high schoolers with “old souls”
  • No shipments to AK, AL, AR, DE, HI, IN, KY, MS, OK, or UT by order of the relevant authorities
see more product specs

Irk on the Mic

Yo, I’m on the mic
So my tag is Irk; I did pop by to say
You can sip dat red in a Mad Ape Way
And if Mad Ape Den is not the red for you
OK, pep up! We got our old red too
We saw we had a bit yet, so we did say: “Why
not mix the two in one box for you all to buy?”
Go on and sip sip
Put a mug up to thy lip lip
And if you get a bit of it on thy rug, let us lay on you a hip tip
You got to dab at it, do not rub – for if you rub it it may set
Get it out? No? OK, do not pry it up and can it yet
Get a gob of the ion duo you see
In use on ice by the DOT
Let it sit on the red to sop it up for a bit
If it’s thy day, you may be rid of it
OK, it’s rad to the eye, it’s as new
No red on the rug, but in the gut of you

TRANSCRIPTION/TRANSLATION OF ABOVE:
“Greetings, it seems the floor is mine. My name is Irk, and I’m here to inform you we’re once again making Mad Ape Den wine available.

“We understand the ‘Mad Ape Den’ aesthetic is not to everyone’s taste. Therefore we’re also including our previous wine offering, ‘So-So Sommelier’. We were pleased to find some remaining supply of this 2014 Zinfandel blend in our storehouses, and this combo sale is the happy result.

“We entreat you to drink merrily!

“Should you experience spillage, the following suggestion may be helpful:

“Blot the affected area with a clean cloth. Avoid rubbing, which can cause the stain to set. If this proves inadequate, don’t discard your floor covering in haste! Instead, pour a mound of table salt on the spill to absorb it. With luck, this method will be effective.

“Hooray, your textiles’ like-new appearance is restored! Wine is for your refreshment, after all; not for decorating your carpets.”

So far today...

  • 77469 of you visited.
  • 37% on a phone, 5% on a tablet.
  • 5531 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 182 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $14188 total.
  • (including shipping)

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