We just had our "Simpsons did it" moment.

Oh man, you guys, this was going to be the best! We got our camera, got our shorts on, zinc’ed up our noses, and were ready to head out into the summer sun to see what we could stick Simple Living Technology’s Stickup Bluetooth Speaker to! It was going to be great! We were going to stick them on:

A car going through a car wash!
Spray! Suds! Hot wax! Blow dry! And those weird tentacle-sponge things! We really thought we were going to be able to totally trash these things on our first go! This was going to be awesome.

Our foreheads as we peel down a Slip N Slide!
Watch video from a first-person perspective as we zip downhill into a pool of … no, wait we’re thinking of a GoPro. Um … crank up the “We Are Young!”

Inside a toilet!
Then wait in the adjacent stall and use the Bluetooth function to play disgusting noises when a coworker takes a seat! Ribaldry!

A drone, for some reason!
Rule number one of marketing in the new economy: any new technology must be affixed to a drone. We were going to blare Flight of the Valkyries and dive-bomb joggers! Can you say “viral?” 'Cuz our lawyers sure couldn’t!

A ventriloquist’s dummy!
Just stuff the speaker inside, prop it up on a busy sidewalk, then Bluetooth in some “Halloween Sound Effects Volume 27!”

Either side of our own heads!
It’s a package of two, which means instant Princess Leia buns! Yeah okay, as a joke it’s a little one-note, but I dare you not to immediately do this when yours arrive!

Yep, we were planning on this being a real blow-out of a day. A few laughs, some high-fives, maybe some cold drinks before a volleyball break. It was going to be heaven.

Then we saw this on Simple Living Technology’s Facebook page.

Fine. You know what? We’re okay being indoors on a day like today. We’re professionals. Just because you beat us at our own game doesn’t mean we’re going to sulk about it. So you can keep your effing … what is that, a parrotfish? We don’t know. Just … just buy the damn speakers and leave us alone.