12-Pack: Unreal Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups With Crispy Quinoa (96 cups)

  • You get 12 bags with 8 cups each
  • They taste like peanut butter cups
  • They have calories like something healthier than peanut butter cups
  • Quinoa adds some nice crunch
  • Can they make margaritas: no, but they can help you free up some calories for a margarita
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Too Transparent?

Here’s a question: is it a mistake to mention the quinoa?


Now, it’s definitely not a mistake to use quinoa to add some crunch. After all, from watching roughly two hours of Food Network a day, I’ve learned three valuable lessons: 1. acid and salt are really important; 2. we eat with our eyes first (which is why, if you make a delicious puree or sauce, you can only put two artful, dime-sized dollops of it onto the plate); and 3. every meal needs some texture.

For more evidence look no further than the terrifying (and, I’ll admit, delicious) amalgamations of chocolate and peanut butter that Reese’s has been putting out recently. Seriously, every time I check out at the grocery store it’s something new. Reese’s pieces folded in. Pretzels. Potato chips. Deep-fried cigarettes. Et cetera.

So, again, it was smart, ingenious maybe, for Unreal (the snack company, not the graphics engine) to find a healthy alternative, so they can put out peanut butter cups that are delicious, texturally appealing, and low in calories (70 per cup).

And yet, I have to wonder: would they be better off just going with “crispy bits” or something like that on the packaging?

Like, consider these two phrases:

  1. “I love a good healthy snack!”

  2. “I love quinoa-based sweet treats!”

The first is a totally reasonable thing to say. The second is a line from a poorly written romcom about a girl from the big city who moves to a small, rural hamlet and learns a thing or two about country life.

Then again, I’m sure they taste great. So buy them! And get some indulgent snacks that feel almost as guilty as something you’d buy on a whim at a gas station! You can just put your thumb over the part that mentions the quinoa.

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