Vague Shapes

“Hey dude, this brainstorming session for our new app is going great and all, but is it cool if we take a little snack break?”

“Totally! Whoa, what are those?”

“These? They’re my Harry Potter Magical Sweets! They might seem like they’re for kids, but hey, what adult doesn’t enjoy some gummy candies now and then, right? And they’re made by Jelly Belly, so you know they’re tasty.”

“Awesome.”

“Would you like some? I’ve got plenty!”

“Thanks, but I’ve got my own right here.”

“Huh, those don’t look like Harry Potter shapes. And why are they in a ziplock bag? Did you pack yourself an individual serving or something?”

“Ha! No! I bought them like this! And they’re definitely Harry Potter gummies. The guy who sold them to me promised they’d transport me to a magical land.”

“The guy who sold them to you? Like a clerk at the store?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh, okay.”

“You know, the kind of store that you call and it comes to your house. And it’s just one guy.”

“See, that doesn’t sound like a store. That sounds like a dealer.”

“No way, man! What kind of dealer sells candy? Oh, that reminds me of another Harry Potter tie-in: the guy who sold them to me is he who shall not be named.”

“Voldemort?”

“I can’t say. His words were, ‘if the cops or anyone ask who I am, you don’t fuckin’ know me.’ But anyway, these are great. They don’t taste like much but they give you the authentic Harry Potter experience. Like one time, I tried to open a door for two hours, but it turned out I was clawing at a brick wall in a subway station.”

“You know, why don’t you have some of mine after all. I don’t think you should eat those other ones anymore.”

“Sure, but let me pay you back. How much do you I owe you for three?”

“It’s really not a big deal. I paid $19 for 12 bags of them.”

“What?! Roy charges me $40 per gummy!”

“Roy?”

“Dammit! I said his name!”