@pakopako I wish I could upvote this more than once. It’s definitely a very good rendering of the original, with very little of the rending that they often get.
Although I don’t see it as iambic pentameter. But those things have long been confusinger to me than they claim to be on the surface. Allegedly Shakespeare wrote his plays in iambic pentameter… yet (as I count the rhythms) almost none of his writing matches. But that’s probably just me.Maybe it bothers me more than it should.
(Fwiw, I didn’t count up each line through the whole song, but I was finding mostly 9 syllables per phrase, with some only 8.)
Yeah, I was trying to push hard that the rewrite kept the same pacing (syllables) while also keeping/adding a charming rhyming aspect. Really well thought out… or just lucky I suppose.
Really amazing rewrite to keep the rhyming and rhythm going.
Iambic pentameter.
@pakopako I wish I could upvote this more than once. It’s definitely a very good rendering of the original, with very little of the rending that they often get.
Although I don’t see it as iambic pentameter. But those things have long been confusinger to me than they claim to be on the surface. Allegedly Shakespeare wrote his plays in iambic pentameter… yet (as I count the rhythms) almost none of his writing matches.
But that’s probably just me.Maybe it bothers me more than it should.(Fwiw, I didn’t count up each line through the whole song, but I was finding mostly 9 syllables per phrase, with some only 8.)
@xobzoo Ha ha ha.
Yeah, I was trying to push hard that the rewrite kept the same pacing (syllables) while also keeping/adding a charming rhyming aspect. Really well thought out… or just lucky I suppose.