Where are all my Bitches at?
23
From the deepest darkest pit of hell he emerges into the light…
What up, Bitches!?
I have no words to explain the last three months of my life…none. So I will say diddly squat about it, except that my life has been turned upside down and my ass now collects rain water.
So I think I will instead share random thoughts…
I have been away, but still saw mentions now and then…thank you.
@mikibell You sweet bitch who sent me another meh sprinkle shirt (they are fucking jimmies! people - Miki gets that), because mine was stolen by family members. You are a very kind person.
@PlacidPenguin, I must admit I couldn’t decide whether you tasted like orange and chicken (aka fruityfrog) at first.
@thismyusername you are way off base with your assumptions.
@fool My bitch 
@Carl669 I need to consult the Mehcronomicon to figure out what exactly is happening in my parallel universe.
@Kittysprinkes What up, Ice Princess? You are still a basic bitch.
@Capguncowboy WTF is going on in FESUSGL? I have no idea and want to know.
@shrdlu How is life in the garden? Still burying bodies occasionally for fertilizer.
@jbartus Go Pats!
This could go on forever. Needless to say my mind is maelstrom, and I have a dark and empty soul (as usual) But out of all this chaos I am healthy and happy in an odd way. Life will sort itself out. It always does.
And in this chaos I did something I have been wanting to do for quite sometime that makes me happy (shout out to my friend Nicole for bringing some light into my life).
I had a small tattoo on my chest and having been wanting more for a long time. I had that one expanded, and then had a fucking amazing wrapped half sleeve put on my left arm. I am very happy.
Here is what it was based on:
I guess that is all for now. I have missed you, my bitches!
I hope you are all well.
Seeing that I am in a strange place I will leave you with Lil Dicky for absolutely no reason at all.
- 31 comments, 149 replies
- Comment
/giphy happy penguin dance
Also, you left me stuck with the other people. It was scary . (And I don’t scare easily.)
@PlacidPenguin Congrats on GOAT, bitch!
@mfladd
I fixed it.
Of course, I’m in middle of planning revenge, so
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(I’ve also been rejecting blames. Mostly those coming from @narfcake)
@mfladd
We trashed you non-stop. It was great.
We even set up an auto-trash bot to keep the process going effortlessly.
PS all your fantasy teams suck
PPS we love you, sorta. You’re such a good target
PPPS I never use giphy anymore. Gave that up.
PPPOE welcome back
/giphy giphys
@PlacidPenguin … but not rejecting unblames, right?
@narfcake
If someone offered you garbage and pie, which would you take, and which would you reject?
@mfladd
Check this out:
/8ball will @mfladd’s fantasy teams totally suck for ever and ever and ever?
As I see it, yes
@mfladd
I’m sure you were kinda preoccupied.
But, since you might not have heard, there was an election or something.
/giphy "atomic bomb"
@f00l I will gif until I die. So you think I am a target? I may be rusty, but it will come back soon enough.
@mfladd
You never fought Bach while you were gone.
Btw, misbehave all you want
/8ball Are @mfladd’s teams total losers?
Signs point to yes
@f00l @mfladd
@f00l I have no fantasy teams. I opted out of all of them this year. Ok, I have to go do some actual work, but I will return later to fuck with you.
@mfladd
@mfladd
I know you have no fantasy teams. You had no time to watch your teams suck this year.
But if you ever play against me, remember:
I don’t watch NFL football. (Ok, half a game a year perhaps.)
When I play, I autodraft like the clueless wimp I am.
I read no news, follow no sites, and open the app once in a while to laugh.
Have no idea how or why to do a trade.
I kinda know what the various positions do.
Barely know how to grab a Waiver player.
I do not wish to learn more. Ignorance is power.
All good.
So if you beat me, not much glory, is there? And if I beat you, well well well!
/8ball Do I win this contest with @mfladd every time?
Yes
Don’t feel too bad, your teams will still suck next year.
@f00l
-1 star for trying to trick @mfladd
@PlacidPenguin
trying, nuthin. 8ball does what I tell it to do
/8ball Are you obedient to my will?
It is decidedly so
let us consult the mehcronomicon.
“For he that would depart for three months, should at least having filled out a fucking leave of absence form. So say we all.”
@mfladd! welcome back! life turmoil sucks. but, i’m glad you came out happier and healthier in the end.
@carl669 I am still working it out, but I did say I was leaving in certain places, bitch! Hope the family is well. And since I am feeling nostalgic I will leave you with this:
@cinoclav My Brother from another Mother! What up, Philly? I hope life finds you well, bitch.
@mfladd It feels a little more complete upon your return! Though honestly, I haven’t been around much either. Welcome home.
Nothing much has changed while you were gone
@denboy DB Gangsta, Nice to see you stop by. How are your FF teams doing?
@mfladd Bad ffl season…what’s new. Could make the playoffs in the goat league with wins over the next 2 weeks. Then, who knows. Glory is still in reach, although most improbable. Hope you’ll be back next season.
Welcome back. I missed you.
@Barney It’s good to be back in a world with purple in it. Missed you too!
Welcome back. @Barney missed you.
@ELUNO The truth is out – I was the only one.
@Barney @mfladd
Or maybe some people don’t want to publicly admit it.
@Barney Only one? Bitch?!
@PlacidPenguin That could be a smart move on their part distancing themselves from me.
@mfladd
I’ll have to check the forum(s) for something related to that.
@f00l - Ping me 5 hours from now. Thanks.
@mfladd @barney must be caught up in a purple haze spouting stuff like Barney was the only one who missed you. Not only is that wrong, I missed you so much MORE!!!
/giphy missed you more
@mehbee
It is decidedly so
/8ball Am I telling the truth?
@mehbee Na-na na-na na-na!
@PlacidPenguin
Oh shit.
From the time stamp you left this msg 23 hours 58 min ago. Just saw it.
All apologies for missing the timeframe specified.
/giphy timeframe
@mehbee I missed you too, bitch!
@f00l
Thanks. I’ll have to look later, though I suppose I’ll just end up paraphrasing the words of @mfladd.
@Barney /8ball Am I telling the truth?
@f00l @mfladd @KittySprinkles
@Thumperchick@OldCatLady @FruityFraug @KDemoRead this subthread. (NSFW)
@mfladd
@DrunkCat DC!!! You inebriated feline. Fuck you too, Bitch!
@sammydog01 Who let the dogs out? Aww…it is good too see you too, bitch!
Hi, @mfladd! Good to see you. Some of us thought you and @kittysprinkles escaped to Costa Rica for a romantic rendezvous.
It’s changed for the weird in here, lost that charisma. Many old friends are MIA. See what you can do, mkay?
Hope you’re adapting to your new inverted view. Hey, does that mean your tattoo is upside-down?
@KDemo
@KittySprinkles isn’t THAT old.
@PlacidPenguin (mean stare)
@mfladd
@KDemo Are you kidding? She would take me to Aruba and make me disappear
Sorry to hear the dynamics have changed here. I had the tattoo put on upside down so that it is now right side up.
I hope you are doing well KD!
@mfladd
‘Disappeared’ in Aruba does not sound like a bad thing. Do they have a Comic Con? 
@KDemo Aruba: see ‘Natalee Holloway’.
@KDemo
Re: “weird around here” as in “unpleasant”
To any degree that I contributed to that, apologies.
@f00l What the hell did you do now???
@mfladd
Do you really wanna know?
RIP thread right after the election. I don’t know how awful I was or wasn’t. Suspect I could have done better.
A lot of people’s (@f00l’s for example) emotional states weren’t great at that moment.
@mfladd
Considering the circumstances, @f00l wasn’t so awful. There was worse from other mehmbers.
@f00l - I’ll be honest. What I can absorb of what you say is usually insightful and considered. Problem is, the posts present as a wall of words which I often cannot deal with. Partly attention span, partly time, partly just hard to attack.
I was surprised and chastened by your stance on that thread hijacking issue, but I respect what you have to say, I appreciate that you say it, and most of the time I agree with you.
The forum is fluid, people come and go, I know change is inevitable. I liked it better before, perhaps I felt more in common with the earlier group. My own problem, I know, but there you have it. I haven’t left completely, but I have come close.
That being said, I am very annoyed by one or two people here; I refuse to identify them, but I do not count you among them.
Yikes, I wonder if someone put truth serum in my tea this morning.
@KDemo Oh dear, please don’t leave. I would miss you.
I love you too, @Barney - You’re one of the reasons I stay.
@Barney - And happy PBJ day! I’m making myself some fish chowder.
@KDemo Aw, now you’ve gone and done it – you’ve made me cry for the second time today. (thank you)
@KDemo Hmm, I’d rather have the PBJ, however, I will get leftovers at my friends’ house tonight.
@KDemo
Well I hope you don’t leave. Because of me or anything/anyone else. Aren’t most people here way more than decent? Aren’t plenty of them exceptional souls?
And re: wall of text: ongoing problem in my head. Sigh. If one’s brain goes nuts like that 24/7 and one can’t imagine until 10 min after one hits “Say It” that one should have seriously STFU because /overload, what to do?
No worries, I hope. Happy T-Day.
PS walls of text are to be scribbled on.
@f00l Oh Lord, even attempting a political thread on this site scares me, and I am not afraid of much here. I once posted a pic on the front page using my purchase words and it generated a political pic - even that caused a little uproar. Sorry, shit hit the fan for you - politics brings the worst out in people here.
@mfladd
There are certain threads to stay away from then. I’m open to talking about a huge range of topics on Meh, however I’ve tried to stay away from politics because some mehmbers make it hard to have a civilized conversation.
I respect people saying logical things (whether I agree or not), but when things spiral fast out of control negatively, I start losing respect.
@mfladd
I can do one on one w people about political stuff now that it’s over. Or a few at a time. Whom I have trust with.
Am accustomed this being surrounded by, and related to, a sea of folk who think and see differently that I. I speak, sometimes. With them. With respect and patience or not at all. Never saw stridency or condescension change anyone’s mind.
Here on Meh?
You may rely on it
/8ball Does my judgement suck?
@f00l - Keep in mind, just because I can’t get through the long posts doesn’t mean others have the same problem. No worries on your account, happy Thanksgiving as well.
And since politics has come up, I mentioned somewhere that I I poured my heart and time into the campaign for >13 weeks. The outcome was a stunning blow, to say the least.
Consider my username, K for Kickstarter (because I missed it by a few days and was jealous), and Demo for
Welcome back!
@RiotDemon Thank you, RD. I hope life is treating you well, Bitch.
@mfladd thanks! Good vibes to you too, bitch.
/giphy good vibes
The legend returns. Hope we’ll be enjoying more of your expletive-filled presence
@compunaut I can hear the masses groaning upon my return now (just when we thought he was gone).
But multiple FUCKS, and other expletives, will always be heard when I am present. As will questionable posts that make the mods cringe.
Nice to see you, bitch!
@mfladd @hollboll @KittySprinkles
Good times.
@Pavlov Hahahahaha! I have missed you, you old GOAT. I thought I might return to see a @Pavlov is still alive thread. Hope you have been able to keep things from falling on your head.
@Pavlov don’t know how you found that but it is freakin perfect
@mfladd Oh, you’re back. Isn’t that delightful.
@KittySprinkles
Yay! I detected sarcasm even though it wasn’t labeled.
And yay! You’re here!
@KittySprinkles We’ve missed you, too
@PlacidPenguin I was summoned by a dark and evil…oh who am I kidding, some old fart poked me.
@KittySprinkles Finally, a bitch who is honest about my return. Fuck you too.
Missed ya, Kittyjimmies
@compunaut Thanks! Life on my end has been turned a bit upside down and I just rarely have time these days. And with that, I return to trying to sleep…night shift is great but can be tough.
@KittySprinkles
@mfladd Of course you missed me, your aim is shit. Don’t worry, mine is still dead on.
@KittySprinkles i captioned the first gif in my head.
“this sucks… no wait… i have boobs.”
@KittySprinkles
@carl669 This pretty much sums it up.
“FML…oh look, boobies”
You just gave a whole new meaning to dog whistle. Welcome back!
@OldCatLady OCL! You still posting porn? Nice to see you, bitch!
@mfladd I do not post porn. I appreciate nature. It’s been a wild few months, and Tinkerbell’s light dimmed for awhile. Time to restart the party.
@OldCatLady
Thanksgiving Day for you
/image “sexy guy”
@mfladd Now that you’re back, let’s go!
@f00l That’s something to be thankful for. He’s all basted and everything. Very tasty looking. Thanks!
@OldCatLady
I hear Cajun spicing is good on Thanksgiving treats.
/8ball Are we happy to have @mfladd back?
You may rely on it
The 8ball is almost never wrong.
@Barney My /8ball is not working
@Barney But it would have agreed with me that I was telling the truth. I’m sure of it.
@mehbee Make your /8ball request on a new line, like this:
It is decidedly so
/8ball is @mehbee telling the truth?
@mehbee Dang, I guess you are right.
@Barney Ha! I just saw this…I knew the 8 ball had my back
@mfladd Just for you, I buried a random stranger in the back garden bed. I had to do it now, because once we’ve had a few more serious freezes, the ground will be too cold to dig until spring…not to mention that lime doesn’t work as well when it’s cold.
Welcome Back
@Shrdlu Uncle Fred?
@Shrdlu
LET ME OUT!!!
@Shrdlu
I ran a test on modified temperatures of “time” using giphy.com as an measure and oracle.
Results:
"Hot Time"
"Cold Time"
Perhaps giphy.com is a poor choice of oracle. Or perhaps I cheated and picked the results I wanted for each phrase. Anything seems to go, within the giphy.com universe.
So perhaps it’s Time to defer to Cole Porter
@Shrdlu Thanks. Awwww… thanks for putting one in the ground for me. When he is ripe can we plant hemlock, and then hold a tea party for some of these bitches?
@Shrdlu
Sigh. DOA. Mea whatever.
When I read your post I misread “lime” as “time”.
/flunk
Just bury this one in your garden pls. Or leave it out for the carrion birds.
@mfladd No hemlock above ground in that bed. I grow summer squash there when it’s warm, and hemlock would be bad to have nearby. Besides, I’m not positive it’d like the climate, nor the excessive lime in the ground. Squash, on the other hand, is pretty forgiving.
Tea party is also out. I’m not too fond of crowds, and your followers would make it so. Besides, I cannot imagine anyone who knew me willingly drinking tea. You never know, it might be dried Monkshood.
@mflassy missed you too
@Yoda_Daenerys I should have known the impersonators would show up! Wasssssssssup Yoda_D!
@mfladd impersonate? what
/giphy i represent that remark
@hems79 Bitches be good! Hope you are well hems.
nice cover
/8ball Is he really multiple users?
Reply hazy try again
@thismyusername I am more likely too have multiple personalities here rather than multiple user syndrome. Glad to see ya, bitch!
i got no jokes, and i don’t know you well… but i do know from remembering lots of your other posts. that you are a kind person and i am sad that your life has been turned upside down. i wish you and your family much strength and perseverance…
@mick
You just made my day with that gif.
@mick Thank you, mick! Hope you are well too. Wait…Did you use the “K” word with me? You bitch!
@mfladd
KALEIDOSCOPE!!!
This is what happens when I get off of jury duty and arrange to go to a client appointment (is it still an appointment if it’s unscheduled?) instead of sneaking a day off? I miss @mfladd?
Glad to hear you’re okay! Hope you had the artist integrate a Pats logo or twelve on your sleeve!
Cool design!
@jbartus Thanks. I hope all is well in B-Town, and with you.
@mfladd ask me on a day when I haven’t been on the phone with Dell India for 4 hours.
Test
@coolsquid1 multiple choice or essay questions?
if #1: AABBACAABBBACCCDEEDDDAAC
if #2: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nunc in efficitur ante. Sed lacinia molestie lacus. Quisque nec pulvinar ligula. Cras efficitur consequat porta. Sed auctor aliquam imperdiet. Maecenas commodo malesuada turpis ac finibus. Vestibulum consequat finibus turpis, a dignissim diam fermentum ut. Phasellus efficitur dolor quis leo consequat scelerisque. Mauris nec pulvinar mi. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Phasellus bibendum nisl neque, auctor commodo sem iaculis ac. Proin suscipit diam ut accumsan maximus.
@carl669
What about True/False ?
@PlacidPenguin that’s a cop out.
@PlacidPenguin answer the following questions then use the scoring legend at the end of the test to calculate how well you did.
Question 1: True or False: the sky is blue.
Question 2: True or False: Meh.com is a superior shopping experience to competitor sites like Woot.com
Question 3: True or False: @jbartus is awesome.
Question 4: True or False: the letter I occurs five times in the word ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’.
Question 5: True or False: November 17, 2016 occurred on a Wednesday.
Question 6: True or False: World of Warcraft is owned by Bethesda Software.
Question 7: True or False: the New England Patriots are the best team in the National Football League bar none.
Question 8: True or False: Halloween occurs on the 31st day of October each year except for leap years.
Question 9: True or False: Donald Trump won the 2016 Presidential Election.
Question 10: True or False: the 2016 Oscar for Best Picture was won by Spotlight.
Test’s over! Time to see how you did!
Answer Key
True, True, True, True, False, False, True, False, True, True
Scoring Key
10 Correct: A+ You’re a Genius!
8-9 Correct: Not too shabby, you get a solid B!
6-7 Correct: Not too sharp but you still pass with a solid C!
4-5 Correct: Today wasn’t your day. You get a D!
1-3 Correct: A bag of hammers would have probably done better. F.
0 Correct: How do you even manage to put your pants on in the morning? FAIL!
@jbartus
So what you’re saying is you would only get 8 right…
@carl669
The “cop” is IN.
Cop to it.
@carl669
Choice: Essay test.
Answer:
Ergo.
@coolsquid1 Are you trying to test me, bitch!?
@PlacidPenguin eh?
@mfladd! Bitch! Wake up!
No-one but @Barney missed you.
@Barney is kind and generous and empathetic and has a Good Soul. Many of the rest of us can likely be loosely grouped as “jerkoff assholes”.
Meh.com forums without that bitch @mfladd:
@f00l f00000000l! Ok, it’s official - Mick Jagger creeps me out. And I don’t get creeped out easily (how long did I put up with @Kittysprinkles
@f00l It has been determined by the /8ball that @mehbee missed @mfladd more.
As I see it, yes
/8ball is stupid.
@mfladd but @Kittysprinkles is a lovely person, as the picture below decidely demonstrates. now, that weird brown dude… he’s a freak.
@carl669 I love purple.
@mfladd
Now I love love love the Stones. And the song fits the way the forums have been without you hanging out.
But also I thought you would react that way to Mick singing that song “to you”. Couldn’t resist.
Very often, Mick both does and does not mean what he sings. ~He gets away with that.~ Or perhaps, to Mick, you were the one who got away.
besides, it’s a Stones song. So: Missed ya, bitch.
@carl669 @Kittysprinkles @mfladd
I’ve heard that of the two people in that picture, the guy is more dangerous.
@PlacidPenguin
They both look dangerous as all fuck.
@f00l
Nah. The female humanoid looks relatively harmless in comparison.
@carl669 He is a freak, but that’s what I like about him
@PlacidPenguin That’s exactly what you’re supposed to think
@KittySprinkles
Good. Because that’s what’s written in my Meh Forum Survival Guide.
@KittySprinkles
Are those nails some sort of high-tech cutting devices?
@f00l Those are the old nails. These are the current ones. Referred to by the boyfriend as knives. Accurate term, I will concede.
(It’s a color changing polish)
@KittySprinkles Damn those are hot! The black tips are so you can see the blood, right?
@mfladd You should just always assume it’s there!
@mfladd @KittySprinkles
The blood is from @KittySprinkles helping a helplessly wounded animal. Right? Right?
@PlacidPenguin Yes, it was an old goat. I put him out of his misery
@KittySprinkles
Enjoy the images for that.
(I’d share some cool ones, but I figure that those who have a Thanksgiving meal would probably rather not see fun pics of people drinking goat blood straight from the goat.)
@mfladd Glad to see you back! Your presence was missed!
(Also, email me at dashcloud19 at gmail when you get a chance!)
@dashcloud Dash, you old Broney! How is it hang’in? Here is my life (but I wouldn’t have it any other way just now.
you’re right - they ARE jimmies!
@cation Nope, nope, nope.
Most likely
/8ball Are they jimmies?
I hate that 8/ball.
@cation @mfladd This is a jimmy:
/image Jimmy Thudpucker
/8ball Do you adore @Barney ?
It is decidedly so
@cation We are friends
I forgot to add in my random thoughts that I often buy shit here and it sits in a corner forever. Then to my surprise it becomes useful.
Due to current situations I found a need for my Toshiba Chromebook - purchased after they were taken by the Octopus from runners - using it now, love it.
I also use my Ooma: works perfectly and gives me super cheap phone service.
Yay, meh!
That Toshiba was invaluable for data entry during the campaign, I agree it’s awesome. Got an Ooma from Woot long ago, but I love that too! Yay, meh and @mfladd!
Are you Scary Terry?
About damn time you showed your face around here!
@mikibell Oh, well, as long as we’re posting pictures-
It’s First Responder Furry Friday.
@OldCatLady I knew there was a reason I loved you!!!
@OldCatLady I like Furst Responder Friday…it works for me
@mikibell Miki, you sweetie. Thank you so much again for the Jimmie shirt. I hope all is going well in your world.
@mfladd Thank you, darlin… I am feeling that if I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all. But there is no sense in complaining, because there is nothing I can change. I hope the Jimmie shirt made you smile during your upheaval. If you need an ear, you have my email. @jbartus and I were about to start a search party for you…
@mikibell
Cough cough Glares
@PlacidPenguin I can’t keep up with your ever changing identities, so I give up!!! I am too tired for riddles…
@mikibell
If you think you have an issue, then think about how I feel. The 2 times I changed my name, I also had to change the login info for my Pi.And even then, I would forget that I changed it.
Hey buddy!
@mfladd
The league is going I guess. NFL’s site blows and I think a lot of people have given up on it. I have managed to build a half-way decent team off the waiver wire. Cuttlefish is still dominating everyone though
@capguncowboy Cap!!! That is so sad to hear. About the site (blame @DrunkCat), and the league. And damn that pesky and wily Cuttlefish! Hope your family is well.
@mfladd My record is enough punishment.
daddy fladdy returns
@legendornothing The legend! Hope you are staying out of trouble, kid!
@mfladd
Several eyes have been kept on leg end.
I didn’t even know own you were gone
@triplebud At least double check your sentence before being a wiseass.
@mfladd I always double check my sentences, and I still sound like a wiseass
@mfladd haha nice! I like screwing up