@benj I am so sorry. I know that was difficult. We do all we can for them and they know it.
I lost my 16 year old border collie in June, that my mom got when my lil bro died. I have lost both brothers and parents, have a sister.
I do understand the pain of losing the people you grew up with. I more than understand losing pets, would hate to count them all. We pet lovers know what you are going through.
@benj My condolences. I feel your pain. My band just started doing the song Mr. Bojangles (the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band version, not Sammy Davis Jr.’s). I sing the verse that has the lines “His dog up and died. Up and died. And after twenty years he still grieves.” I absolutely cannot sing those lines without choking up. I can’t help but picture my dogs Cassie who passed in 2002 and Mica who passed in 2012.
My wife is a vet. When she helps a client say goodbye to their pet we send a donation to the UC Davis Companion Animal Memorial Fund. If you email me your mailing address to my meh name at mac dot com we will send a donation in Molly’s name. (If you’d rather not send me your address, say so and we’ll send a donation anyway.)
There is no guilt in the decision you made. We are the stewards for our beloved four-legged companions. We are blessed with the ability to help them move on when their quality of life is so poor that they are happier to not suffer. It takes strength and shows that you loved Molly enough to do that for her. You will naturally grieve, but do so without guilt.
@benj Do not feel guilty, you did what you had to. She would have suffered had she lived.
My son had to take two old labs two days apart because they could not walk. I took my lab, Belle, she could not walk. I have only had two die at the house, they were sick. I should have taken them and that is way more guilt.
You were a good loving parent to your fur baby, it hurts so much now, you did the right thing. The only thing.
@benj I understand the guilt even when there is no choice. Back in 1998 and 2001, when I had to put my cat with liver failure and then my cat with cancer down, even though it was the right decision, I suffered from a tremendous amount of guilt. Guilt about when I did it (was there more I could have done?), guilt about having to do it at all (maybe killing my cat is wrong - I struggle with the human version of that too - that is how my dad died - his choice, still not legal in that state, which for me complicated the entire thing - maybe I should have just kept her comfortable and let nature take its course…?)…I had a dream one night where they came back, asked me why and I told them, also in my dream I told them I was sorry; that I still loved them and missed them. That seemed to help although I grieved them both for a long, long time.
I’ve got a cat right now I am struggling with when will be the right time. I nearly did it right before christmas, but my losses from people and one of my cats (the day after my father’s funeral) at that time of year made me selfish and I couldn’t do it. Then I took her to a different vet when I was visiting my mom and she has rallied (which of course will add to my indecision about when it is finally time). The trouble is I know that is only temporary. So often the signs aren’t clear cut and it becomes a guessing game - when have you waited too long and when did you do it too early. I am currently struggling with the “is it too early” fear.
This little one is currently sitting at my feet purring as she just ate. The trouble is that she is only eating due to appetite stimulants… and I know the writing is on the wall. I just keep hoping not yet not yet not yet…
Grieve your sweet dog and know that that is the price of loving. And it is better to have loved and then suffer than not loved at all. And as someone else said, there is another animal out there that needs you, your love, your attention…needs to be saved from being put down just because she or he is alive and unwanted. While you can’t save them all, you can save one of them. While you can’t stop the pain of grief or fill that hole, you can fill your life with another animal who will love you and fill your life with joy again.
@benj Sorry to hear that. Same thing happened to me yr before last. Lost both 15yr old dogs and a cat within 3 months and was petless for first time in life. It gets better. I couldn’t get another dog because of hubby’s health and hosp visits but it really does help sometime to get another one. Not to replace the old one but to give you something else to love on.
@benj Cassie and Mica were both pound mutts. Some kind of shepherd cross. Cassie was golden-colored. They were both smart, sweet, and sensitive. I don’t have any digital photos of Cassie but here’s one of Mica.
@melonscoop Right now I have one sleeping on me, one sleeping on the clothes on the top of dresser (there to keep the dresser from being scratched while the throw I usually keep there is in the dryer), one sleeping on the top of the cat tree by the bedroom window, one standing sentry on bedroom window sill watching something out the window, and one sleeping in the cat bed in the entrance to the closet.
I loathe cats. The only thing worse than cats is grease. What? Oh, you mean the animals. Well, they’re awful as well. In my home town, if a police officer sees a cat outdoors without a collar, they are technically required to shoot it. This has never been done in living memory, but it is on the books.
I have 4 kitties - One just turned 17 and the other two will be 17 in March. I bottle fed the one who just turned 17 and the other two are litter mates who were strays. One is 7 who I rescued from the highway median strip in the driving rain when she was a baby. I currently also have a 1-2 year old I rescued from campus (likely a student dumped her) that I have had for a month. The no kill shelter will be taking that baby on Monday when I will be back for the day where I used to live. She is a real sweetie - affectionate, friendly, people oriented, loves to play (which my elderly cats are having a tough time with)… just a darling little girl. Because she is a mixed lynx siamese and has never met a stranger she likely (fortunately) will be placed quickly.
If a person says they hate cats, they have never had a cat.
What did a cat do to you?
I have been bitten twice by dogs but I still love them.
I cannot understand people who hate animals.
My mom never let us have one, we had dachshunds. One came to stay, dad said not to feed it, it would never leave. We caught him feeding the cat who stayed forever and we always had cats after that.
I got my 18 year old from the beach. Our wonderful small, on the beach place was being torn down and big ole condos put up. We went for another last visit coz it was closing. Manager could not take her cat, we already knew cat for four years. All summer no one would take her. They asked us, we said, sure! We already loved her.
My five year old cat was living at my parents’(my) house the Christmas after mama died. No one lives there. She was scrawny and took right to us and we took her right home, Noel. Both cats are tuxedos.
@Calabama I don’t understand dog owners who will tell you when you’re in the waiting area at the vet’s office, those dogs on leashes and you sit there with your kitty in a carrier, who feel it necessary to tell you that their dog hates cats and will chase them down and kill them. I don’t get that at all.
Of course, they kind of shut up when I mention the baseball bat I keep by the door for just such an occasion.
(Our cats have access to our backyard, the fence is modified to keep them in. But I don’t share that with these dog people.)
We had dogs. We loved our dogs. Two healers and one shepherd mix. But our neighbors didn’t like the fact that the dogs barked (egged on my the neighbor’s grandson). And when our dogs had all passed away, my husband said “no more dogs, not as long as we live here”.
And now that we’re getting on in years, we have no intentions of adding to our cat population, we’ll just let them age out. We don’t have any under ten years old at this point.
@lisaviolet I would never tell someone that about a dog. That is so unthoughful. I am afraid I would be very rude to those people. I know I would! Unfortunately that does happen.
My youngest was almost killed the other summer. I looked out the window and neighbors dogs had her, two of them. I screamed to son, did not see Noel run away, she was in the backyard, unhurt. She is leery about them, never takes her eyes off them.
Was so glad I was where I was. My cats love it outside. My dog fence is about 20 feet from the house, so the cats are free in the back, they do not go out front much.
Noel used to go in the fence with my dogs until I had to get my uncle’s dog, he was too old to care for him. He chased up her a tree and she has never gone back in there. I really do not like that dog but no one would take him, he is an asshole!
Most cats love me. For starters, I’m allergic. They know somehow. Also many cats I’ve encountered have been jerks to pretty much everyone, including (especially) their owners, except me. I mess with them and am generally a jerk back and in return I get a perfectly chill cat curled up in my lap.
@RiotDemon totally. i think the first time my opinion really started to change were my roommate’s cats that were kittens when they got them (one, then no one would take his sickly brother so that made two, then the one found outside our apartment who a neighbor was trying to let go bc they didn’t want to take care of her anymore, in the dead of a boston winter so that made three…) - anyhow they grew up for a few years with my dogs and they all acted like the same animal basically.
My name says it all. Today my three have tried to trip me when I was carrying their food, played tag on me when I was trying to nap, yowled at my bedroom door until I woke up and fed them, played hockey with a table part I needed, and shed all over everything. The black cat brings me toys he wants to play with, the tuxie wants the entire window to her sizeable self, and the tiger wanted his prescription food NOW, and then tried to cover it, then wanted it NOW, ate four bites and walked off, sat and Stared at me when I tried to nap, until I put his food down…