@awk I don’t know. I’m opposed to slavery. All these gifts of people just don’t sit right with me. Even if they are ladies, and even if they are dancing.
@Kyeh Pear trees are awful as yard fruit. You don’t notice the ones that fall until you either step on them or they come flying out from under the lawn mower as deadly fruit missiles.
@Kyeh@OnionSoup The problem with a pear tree that will grow in Houston and bear fruit is that we have varieties that produce so much that you have to be out there every damn day with a bushel basket gathering them up. And very few, if any, will actually be edible because they’ll be full of bugs. If you want to keep them pest free, you have to spray the bejeesus out of them.
@Kyeh@werehatrack@OnionSoup We have 4 pear trees (1 bartlett, 1 anjou and 2 asian). Between the deer and the dog, the ones on the ground get cleaned up regularly.
The line about “four calling birds” is incorrect. The original line is “four colly birds”, as in sooty black birds. “Colly” being a variation of “collier”, related to the word “coal”.
@sjk3@werehatrack I read once that there’s been dozens of versions of the song over the years and in the early days the items and the quantity of the items varies quite a lot. The song was originally French and translated and mistranslated many times.
Even the Partridge in a Pear Tree might be due to a bad translation. The word “Pear Tree” being a mistranslation of the French word for Partridge. I think if I recall, the French rhyme the song split from didn’t mention a tree.
So we’re basically singing a Partridge in a Partridge, which is either perverse or cannibalistic.
8 maids. My house is kind of dirty right now.
@yakkoTDI but they’re milking mates not cleaning Maids
@yakkoTDI all the other human gifts are performers, implying that the maids-a-milking are doing, you know…a show, of sorts.
I’m more of a “nine ladies dancing” type of guy.
/giphy ladies dancing
@awk Most definitely!
@awk I don’t know. I’m opposed to slavery. All these gifts of people just don’t sit right with me. Even if they are ladies, and even if they are dancing.
I want to hear the Piper’s pipe. Because piping is always awesome
VAN GOGH! MANGO! TANGO! AWESOME!
@Cerridwyn Especially when done on a unicycle
@macromeh finest kind
I always go with that old Arby’s commercial. I can’t figure out how to do music notes… So imagine singing it.
Five Roast beef sandwiches
My favorite part of the song is the exhausted silence when it’s over.
My favorite version of it is done by Straight No Chaser.
@werehatrack Beat me to it. Great rendition of this classic.
I wouldn’t mind a bunch of pear trees, but I don’t think partridges thrive here.
@Kyeh Pear trees are awful as yard fruit. You don’t notice the ones that fall until you either step on them or they come flying out from under the lawn mower as deadly fruit missiles.
@werehatrack Well, I have apple trees and they do that too, but the benefits outweigh the minor hassles.
@Kyeh @werehatrack if it’s a fruit tree it’s worthwhile.
If it’s one of those awful Bradford pear trees I hope there is a gift receipt so I can return it.
@OnionSoup @werehatrack
Yes, I agree with that!
@Kyeh @OnionSoup The problem with a pear tree that will grow in Houston and bear fruit is that we have varieties that produce so much that you have to be out there every damn day with a bushel basket gathering them up. And very few, if any, will actually be edible because they’ll be full of bugs. If you want to keep them pest free, you have to spray the bejeesus out of them.
@Kyeh @werehatrack @OnionSoup We have 4 pear trees (1 bartlett, 1 anjou and 2 asian). Between the deer and the dog, the ones on the ground get cleaned up regularly.
There’s actually 24 days.
Four pounds of back bacon
@ybmuG And a beer.
@ybmuG There is seldom enough bacon.
@smyle @ybmuG hey… that beer is empty…
Five of these
(the real deal, not the Franklin Mint mock-ups)
@f00l you only need one though. One ring to rule them all.
@f00l @OnionSoup You only need one of the One Ring, but then four other rings of power to hand out to your
friendsenemies to rule them with.@OnionSoup @xobzoo
Need ring-minions. So, yes, need extra rings.
/giphy Sauron ring
@OnionSoup @xobzoo
Not the giphy I was seeking.
/image Sauron ring
@OnionSoup @xobzoo @f00l
Perfect for summoning minions, though!
The line about “four calling birds” is incorrect. The original line is “four colly birds”, as in sooty black birds. “Colly” being a variation of “collier”, related to the word “coal”.
@sjk3 Modern usage allows “calling birds”, but the earliest appearances of these lyrics do indeed use the term you cite. For reference: https://blogs.loc.gov/catbird/2016/12/is-it-four-calling-birds-or-four-colly-birds-a-twelve-days-of-christmas-debate/#:~:text=Some basic research shows that,by more than a century.
@sjk3 @werehatrack I read once that there’s been dozens of versions of the song over the years and in the early days the items and the quantity of the items varies quite a lot. The song was originally French and translated and mistranslated many times.
Even the Partridge in a Pear Tree might be due to a bad translation. The word “Pear Tree” being a mistranslation of the French word for Partridge. I think if I recall, the French rhyme the song split from didn’t mention a tree.
So we’re basically singing a Partridge in a Partridge, which is either perverse or cannibalistic.
@OnionSoup @sjk3 @werehatrack It’s the first step in a Turduckenridgeridge
Wasn’t there a verse about multiple ladies laying? If so, that’s my choice.
@sicc574 Those are geese.
@sicc574 @werehatrack the ladies were doing WHAT with the geese?
@OnionSoup @sicc574 @werehatrack That was Leda, with a swan.
Did someone say Golden Rings???
And then there are the daily letters in response to the progressively more extravagant gifts…
@werehatrack I got 14 sec into this and fell asleep…
@ybmuG Yeah, the intro is best skipped. There are multiple alternative versions out there in text form.
@werehatrack once i woke up and made it all the way through, it was quite entertaining
Three French men!
My ratings:
A partridge in a pear tree:
I have eaten partridge once, wasn’t impressed. Pear Tree would be nice though. I have an orchard it can go in. B
Two turtle doves:
Great! Bet my true love found them on the side of the road in new york, Flying rats, just what I need. D
Three French hens:
I have always wanted to keep hens. Their ethnicity and country of origin is unimportant to me. A
Four calling birds:
Keeping birds in cages in your house is more likely to give you lung cancer than smoking. Is my true love trying to kill me? C
Five gold rings:
I don’t wear jewelry but, these have value. Would it be insensitive to sell them? B+
Six geese a-laying:
Geese are assholes. D
Seven swans a-swimming:
Swans are as assholey as Geese. D
Eight maids a-milking:
Its the 21st century, don’t gift people it’s just not right. It never was right! F
Nine ladies dancing:
See the above. F
Ten lords a-leaping:
What the hell is wrong with you. F
Eleven pipers piping:
Did you buy a whole truckload of people? F
Twelve drummers drumming:
I should never have moved to the South. F
And there is always the old satire version. Do you want a Japanese transistor radio?
@Cerridwyn It’s a Nakashuma!
@ybmuG it is, it is
In your green polka dotted pajamas
@Cerridwyn @ybmuG Sherman was brilliant.
@earlyre I don’t think I’ve heard this since I was in the 8th grade(or as the McKenzie brothers would say: grade 8 ). It’s still just as good!