What is suitable surrogate mother?

sohmageek went on a bit of a rant said
10

Irk… I just had to calm down my 22.5 month (can I just call him 2 yet?) old son down. My wife is traveling for work. And she will be gone till Friday. He was calling mommy mommy. I went in and he kept looking for mommy. So I told him it’s like when Daddy goes out late at night sometimes (magic can run into the early hours of the next day, only sometimes do I smell like booze, basically when I lose really bad, but I digress)
I asked him what’s wrong do you want water? He has this thing where he likes a glass of water at night. Takes about 4 sips and lays down. He said color. He wanted to color and I told him bed time, tomorrow. He said something and then Irk. Irk is the only thing that perks this kid up faster than a kid in a candy shop. He would pass on candy for Irk. Well. Today Irk became a surrogate mother. When he asks for mommy Irk gets his mind off of the fact that she’s gone for another ~86 hours but who’s counting.
Thank you Irk, thank you handler @matthew and thank you mad ape den for many many musical numbers with Irk.
Fuck. I’m on mobile and can’t set the image to Irk. Can you assist please @thumperchick?