Uh-oh, we got Hammacher Schlemmer
7Are the guys who sold out Woot about to destroy another beloved brand?
Hammacher Schlemmer may be next victim of serial ecommerce bunglers
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 18, 2026 - With breathtaking hubris, the disgraced Woot.com leaders who sold the company to Amazon emerged today to shamelessly announce that they’d somehow gotten their hands on the beloved catalog brand Hammacher Schlemmer.
Showing little awareness of how deep they’re in over their heads, the ex-Woot sellouts declared that the venerable 178-year-old retailer had fallen into the lap of their anonymously named shell company, Stores.com.
“Hey, look, I can’t believe it myself,” said Matt Rutledge, CEO of Stores.com and founder and ex-CEO of Woot, blinking in bewilderment at the vastness of the task before him. "You sell a few Bags o’ Crap, have a few laughs, next thing you know you’ve got the keys to one of the 20th century’s most fascinating retailers.
“Wow. I mean… just… wow…” Rutledge continued, staring into the middle distance, his voice trailing off.
Rutledge and much of the Woot founding team fled the mess they’d made at Amazon in 2012, stealthily regrouping to launch a near-identical “funny” daily deal store at Meh.com because they couldn’t think of anything else to do. That store remains in business as of this writing.
When asked how the old gang planned to avoid the fate that turned Woot into a hollow parody of its once-vital self, Rutledge paused a long time before answering. “Sell cool stuff, I guess,” he finally, tentatively replied. “Like, remember when Hammacher Schlemmer sold that one-person submarine for like a million dollars or whatever? That was cool.”
Myriad questions remain about how exactly the Stores.com operation will overcome its limitations to restore the past glories of the esteemed Hammacher Schlemmer, whose now-defunct Manhattan store was a landmark for decades in the greatest city in the world. Can it credibly take back the mantle of innovation from the likes of Kickstarter? Can it translate the appeal of the classic catalog into the digital age? Pressed for details, Rutledge changed the subject.
“The name Hammacher Schlemmer still means a lot to people,” said Rutledge. “At this point, that’s all we’ve got.”
Watch the tragedy unfold at hammacher.com, if you can stand it.
- 26 comments, 11 replies
- Comment
/showme “Woot to Hammacher Schlemmer”
@f00l Here’s the image you requested for ““Woot to Hammacher Schlemmer””
Did the bot glitch writing the copy for the email?
@ybmuG you’d think in the age of ai they would have a proofreading ai. Especially knowing zoomers have the attention span of a tic tac.
@ybmuG looks that way, I saw the paragraph about selling cool stuff twice.
Isn’t Hammacher Schlemmer the store MST3K always made fun of?
I have to pee.
I’m there!
Why doesn’t my VMP code work? I need to spend $3000 on a bracelet.
Mens room attendant told me to remove my smart glasses, so I returned wearing these.
Now that you’ve purchased these new things, can we lower the meh shipping cost?
I came here to name drop Woot some more. If I could add a picture it would be Bald Elon hangin on the CRT that reads PayPal.
@user87647985 I’ll try it for you.
/showme Bald Elon hanging on the CRT that reads PayPal
@MrGoodGuy Here’s the image you requested for “Bald Elon hanging on the CRT that reads PayPal”
This repetition was totally on brand…
"When asked how the old gang planned to avoid the fate that turned Woot into a hollow parody of its once-vital self, Rutledge paused a long time before answering. “Sell cool stuff, I guess,” he finally, tentatively replied. “Like, remember when Hammacher Schlemmer sold that one-person submarine for like a million dollars or whatever? That was cool.”
When asked how the old gang planned to avoid the fate that turned Woot into a hollow parody of its once-vital self, Rutledge paused a long time before answering. “Sell cool stuff, I guess,” he finally, tentatively replied. “Like, remember when Hammacher Schlemmer sold that one-person submarine for like a million dollars or whatever? That was cool.”"
Open skies ahead!
@dkrupps I came here to paste this from my email, lol
I was ready to leave a serious comment. I have ordered from HS a few times - I think three times over the last 40 (yes forty) years. And for six months or so I have been considering an item there which I see is no longer there now. So I have a few thoughts about this which are not necessarily bad or snarky. And I was early in that W place and also here at Meh from the beginning. Also that A place.
So…the H-M website indicates that memberships are $8.99/mo. For those of us who signed up in the past via meh, should we expect that the historic monthly contribution stays the same, or is a membership increase in our future (and the new price is just for new suckers)?
Sorry, Daethnir, we did the Wikipedia edit within 3 minutes of each other!
I have no idea that Ham Maker Slammer is, but I look forward to Meh’s stewardship of another brand.
/showme a guy expelling a gigantic glob of phlegm and yelling “Hammacher Schlemmer” as he sneezes with snot flowing out of his nose.
@MrGoodGuy Here’s the image you requested for “a guy expelling a gigantic glob of phlegm and yelling Hammacher Schlemmer as he sneezes with snot…”
@mediocrebot Great job!
That should be the new logo for the site! 
one of the few times i’ll ever say, and mean, these brands really go together
This is incredible! I remember going to the Chicago location with my parents and seeing a tiny, street-legal car.
I’m in! Sell a tiny EV and I’ll buy it just to prove to Dad I’ve really made it!
50% off an Official Top Gun Bomber jacket? I’m totally in, as long as it has enough pockets for my phone chargers and CRKT knives.
@okham and Bluetooth speakers!
Awesome!
Now do ThinkGeek
VAN GOGH! MANGO! TANGO! AWESOME!
would have been awesome if Matt had waited to announce on April 1.
MEALS! DEALS! EELS! AWESOME!
I know this means “not much” but I still have my Woot! flying screaming monkey, and the little 20 year old F(censored)ers battery still has a charge. He will be going to college this fall, to get an Engineering degree in the field of elastostatics.
They grow up so fast…
So I looked at the The Collapsible Wagon Cart on there. Three sizes and no dimensions of the actual cart part of it so you know how big the “bag” part of the cart is, just how many pounds it holds. Totally useless if you want to fit specific things into the wagon part of it. And no place to ask as customer service apparently is only for items you have already bought.
Meh needs to go through their catalog and fix things like that and also have a place to ask questions like mine.
So is stores.com in addition to or instead of Mediocre as the family brand?
Oh my god, what are you guys doing??? (Also, I think I like it…)
I don’t even know who you are anymore…
why was there two of the same paragraph in the second email? is this code for something??