. . . at 13:30HRS CST, I’ll be standing next to the information booth at The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City. Which one of you fuckers wants to go on a tour and then maybe get a bite to eat (my treat)? Sorry for popping this on you guys at the last minute . . . I’ve been a little busy.

Don’t RSVP, just show up. If more than three or four of you fuckers show your mug, I’m feeding you cheap pizza (it might get expensive quickly). Just to let you know, I tossed that all meat shit, stopped eating animals and lost 250 pounds. Bring your walking shoes and keep up. Admission to the museum is free.

Use the secret hand signal. Don’t worry if you’re the quiet or shy type - I’m engaging enough for us all (at least in my own mind). I promise not to offend. My empathy setting has been permanently set to highly sensitive.

@snapster - may I please have my goat Emeritus badge? Thanks.