This is a serious question and I hope you will give it careful consideration before answering
2My wife claims that I woke her up last night around 4 AM by farting. Without admitting whether I farted or not, I said that she must have been up anyway as no night fart could possibility be loud enough to wake someone up. I could think of no better group of people to ask such a question of then the people who frequent meh.
- 11 comments, 21 replies
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Neither.
@narfcake Particularly if a human has an alarm set for sometime around 5AM…
@narfcake … from one end of the house to the other, crossing at high impact over your sleeping humans on their bed midway…
@Kyeh @narfcake And that is why we sleep with our bedroom door closed (with the cats on the other side).
@macromeh @narfcake We used to for years, but my current cat won me over by almost always being a quiet and considerate little roommate; sleeps down on the far corner and then comes to snuggle in the daylight but usually isn’t pushy about it.
@Kyeh @narfcake We have a brother-sister pair of cats. Molly is mostly a polite cuddler, but the (20lb) McGee prefers to jump on your chest and knead and loudly purr at 4AM.
@Kyeh @narfcake
YES YES YES!!
If I’m at just the right (or wrong) part of my sleep cycle, I can be brought to “fully awake” by nearly anything. If there’s nothing to wake me up, I sleep on. If you have a sleep tracker, it may provide you with a rundown of when you were in deep sleep vs light or REM. How it knows the difference when it’s just strapped to a wrist is not something I understand at all.
@werehatrack According to the faq for an Apple Watch app I don’t use anymore, it has to do with the level of variation in your blood oxygen level over time. But since it was tracking heart rate and oxygen and motion and sound, who knows how much of it is that one stat.
It probably wasn’t the sound.
@mehcuda67
Maybe it was the alarmingly wretched stink that jolted awake??
In the effort to be fully transparent, I have to admit no one will ever accuse my farts of being the SBD (silent but deadly) category.
@Felton10 Of the remaining options, NAD (noisy and deadly) remains a plausible contender…
@Felton10 AKA, Silent but violent
I would say, from my experience as both the “er” and the “ee”, that sleep farts can be very loud when you’re not awake to attempt to limit the noise factor. Couple that with where your wife was in her sleep cycle, it’s very plausible one could wake her up.
I’ll add to what others have said–especially about sleep cycle–that one be in a sleep-wake state wherein one might quickly fall back to sleep without even registering having been awake but more susceptible to being awoken. Fwiw, 3-4 is a time of the night/early morning when I’m typically in that state.
So, totally plausible. Own it.
Your wife has my sympathies.
Saturday night my wife had a very active dream and ended up punching me in the forehead. I yelled ‘what the hell?’, she yelled back, ‘why did you wake me up?’. It’s really something you can’t win. Accept defeat and embrace a happy marriage
@capnjb If one can’t fart in their own bed, then where can they fart?
@Felton10 I’m not saying you can’t. I’m saying even if you didn’t do it, it was you.
@capnjb @Felton10 Or get a dog to blame it on.
Say, didn’t we already establish that Walter farts?
@capnjb @macromeh He makes fart and snoring noises, but no actual farts-does that count?
I guess it depends on how persuasive you are/gullible your wife is.
@capnjb @Felton10
WELL… my dad taught us girls at a very early age that farting was to be done in the bathroom!
Jus sayen…
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My wife correctly predicted that no females (that I can tell) would respond to this thread. Come on girls, don’t tell me you have never been awaken by an intrusive noise (and maybe smell).
@Felton10 Whether nature or nurture, my observation is that most women don’t appreciate the humor that (clearly) accompanies flatulence.
@Felton10
I’m a girl and I can tell you I’ve been woken up by my boyfriend farting before but it wasn’t the noise so much as the vibration that woke me up. We were sleeping to close and I could feel the vibration of his fart. I kept pushing him until he rolled over and away from me. Not one of my most pleasurable moments lol
@Felton10 Put a plug in it.
@Felton10 @macromeh I’d suspect that is because some boys (to match calling the adult other sex girls instead of women) never grow up/mature past late grade school/middle school when many kids of both sexes are obsessed with bodily function noises.
@Kidsandliz @macromeh That is me. Also why I still watch “Leave it to Beaver”.
Did forensic analysis reveal any spatter evidence that could point to the perp?