The Entire Birthday-thon in one post, all the candle faces in one GIF. My gift to you, Meh

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Compiler’s note

First time I’ve gotten it to all fit in one part which is pretty neat. If you missed my last compilation that’s fine. I missed basically this entire Mehrathon myself. So it’s especially nice that this was a short one.

All the faces burning in one GIF

A Birthday Tour-athon!

Yesterday was our Day Zero anniversary, commemorating when we first let Kickstarter backers onto the site. But it was today, July 9th, when we really opened our virtual doors to allow the general public to peruse our amazing deals.

Or, well, at that point, our amazing deal, singular.

And lo these many years later, we’re still chugging along, offering big savings on great products. Or even bigger savings on fine enough products. Or enormous savings on products you couldn’t possibly want.

So hang out with us today for a whole bunch of fun, exciting products and product bundles! And if you’re not interested in what we’re selling here, we’ve got a little tour of our other sites lined up, so no matter what, you’ll be able to find something you like!

Now this is the kind of deal we’d only offer on our Birthday: 5 TrackR Pixels and 5 KN95 masks!

We call it the “clumsy family basement cleaning kit”: each family member gets a mask to protect themselves from dust and dankness, and also a tracking device so that no one loses their keys in the basement mess.

Why would you need 5 purple TrackRs and 200 masks?

Well, consider this: what if you need to transport 200 people with colds from one place to another? And you rented five school busses? And to save money, you hired drivers that are forgetful, and thus often misplace their bus keys?

See! It’s totally practical!

Wow! These deals have really been something, haven’t they? And this one is no exception!

Fifteen TrackR pixels? Five masks? In other words, three Pixels for each mask? What does that mean?

It means you won’t lose those masks!

Having a party where you’re inviting 20 people, all of whom will arrive in pairs? And you want to hand out party favors?

Then give each person a high-quality KN95 mask and the driver from each pair a TrackR Pixel so they don’t lose their car keys!

What a perfect bundle, right?!

As you know, we believe in variety here at Meh. That’s why we sell something different every day.

And on a day like today, during our birthday Meh-rathon, variety is more important than ever! And we’ve offered a wide variety of great bundles so far.

But then, the first sale we ran in this Meh-rathon (20 black TrackRs and 20 masks) elicited such a barrage of emails demanding the same sale but with blue Pixels, that we decided: just this once, we’d forget about variety and give the people what they want.

Jake from St Paul writes:

Dear Meh,

I work as the night watchman in a large building with many doors. 25 to be exact. Each one must remain locked and each one has its own unique key. I cannot keep them on a key ring because I have a phobia of rings after being stood up at the altar. But I’d like a way that I could keep track of all 25 keys and make sure they don’t get lost. Also, the building is the headquarters of a cement company. So it gets dusty, making it so that I have to wear masks regularly. Is there any way you could put together a bundle of products that meets my distinct needs for your birthday Meh-rathon?

Well, Jake, we’ve got you covered!

Woo! It’s our birthday so we’re offering some of our best deals all day long!

And yes, this is one of our best deals!

Hey, masks are still useful, even as regulations change. Like when you’re doing home renovation. Or cleaning the basement. Or what have you.

When you’re throwing your retail site as big of a birthday party as we are, it can be tough to juggle everything. Between deep frying the ice sculpture and teaching the string quartet to play a royalty-free birthday song, you might misplace your keys.

And that’s okay! It’s only human, really. Which is why we’ve put together this sale of TrackR Pixels: to help you keep track of your easy-to-misplace stuff!

Why would we offer 9 TrackRs and 10 masks?

Because it’s our birthday. And we can do whatever we want!

Maude from South Dakota writes:

Dear Meh,

My five quintuplet daughters are all going through a princess phase at the exact same time, and they are constantly arguing over whose dress is whose. Also, we live on a plain that is forever engulfed in a strange fog, the inhalation of which should be limited as best as possible. Would you be able to offer something in your Birthday Meh-rathon that would allow my daughters to sync their individual dresses to their phones, and maybe throw in some masks for safety?

We sure can, Maude!

For our birthday, we’re offering you something special: the latest in fashion!

Walk down the streets of Paris or Milan and what do you see? People wearing unadorned KN95 masks with two pink TrackR Pixels as earrings.

Yes, this is completely true! Trust us! And when you buy this bundle, you get enough masks and “earrings” for all of your friends and coworkers. Can you believe the generosity here?

We’re feeling a bit blue on our birthday.

As in, we’ve got some blue TrackR Pixels and some blue masks (if you decide to, like, dye them blue yourself)!

Good morning to the East coast 9-5ers! You’ve gotten in, you’ve gotten your coffee, you’ve checked your emails, and now you’re taking a little break to see what’s on Meh, and what’s that? It’s a BIRTHDAY MEH-RATHON!

We’ve been offering a wide range of super exciting bundles all night! And this one is no exception: 15 blue TrackR Pixels and 10 KN95 masks!

To pull back the curtain a little bit: we are, right now, halfway through the great deals we have lined up for you on this, our Birthday!

So we thought, why not offer a sale where there are half as many TrackR Pixels as there are KN95 masks?

Only… wait… the math is… shit!

For our birthday this year, we’ve been focusing on offering great bundles. But now, it’s time to get back to our roots.

That’s why we’re offering this single product: a 12-pack of colorful TrackR Pixels!

Okay, I guess technically it’s 12 products. But they’re all the same product. So… you get it!

What birthday is complete without a 50-pack of Individually Wrapped KN95 High Efficiency Respirator Masks, amirite?!

Wait, but are these the same masks we’ve been offering all day, or are they slightly different?

Ha! Not that we’ve been offering the same thing all day!

Anyway…

If this isn’t your thing, feel free to check out MorningSave, and search around to see if there’s… uhh… anything “cool” for sale. Or jump on into our Birthday Bounce House, or else swing by the forums where there’ll be birthday fun and games happening all day!

Ted from Providence writes:

Dear Meh,

I run a pool where I employ 15 lifeguards. Each one has a key to the pool in case it is their turn to open. Also, I use experimental chlorine that makes the lifeguards lightheaded at times. Could you put something in your birthday Meh-rathon that’ll help my lifeguards keep track of their keys? Bonus points if these products are the color of water! Also, some masks would be good too, because of the aforementioned fume-y chlorine.

Ted! We’ve got you covered!

If you think about it, this isn’t a bundle of TrackR tokens and masks. It’s a TrackR Pixel sale with 5 bonus masks thrown in!

What’s the difference?

Who cares! Happy birthday to us, right?

We don’t know about you, but when we think about 2020, we SEE RED!

And to commemorate this feeling we’re offering 20 red TrackR Pixels and 20 masks!

Never thought we’d say this, but wow, when is our birthday over again? This is getting a little exhausting!

You might be wondering: how many more variations of the TrackR Pixel/Mask Bundle can Meh possibly have in store?

But that’s a dangerous question when you have as many TrackRs and masks as we do in our warehouse.

Anyway, happy birthday to us!

What is it about a birthday that’s really so special? Yes, we commemorate our birth, but in some ways, is not the day of one’s entrance into this world the most stressful of a human’s life?

And so in some ways, this is a perfect birthday celebration: a day that leads to other, more meaningful, and enjoyable days. By which we mean, maybe the real birthday present is waking up tomorrow and not having to sell TrackR pixels and masks.

On the one hand, 5 TrackR Pixels seems totally reasonable. You likely have 5 things that you need to keep track of.

On the other hand, a 100-pack of masks seems crazy.

But is it? After all, they’re semi-disposable masks. Maybe you’re still being cautious. In which case, this can get you through the year. Or maybe you’re stocking up for dusty home renovation jobs, in which case, this case might last you a lifetime.

Speaking of a lifetime: it’s our birthday!

Anne from Michigan writes:

Dear Meh,

I’m afraid I do not have much time left. But you know what I have plenty of? Grandchildren! Twenty, to be exact. And I have decided to leave them their inheritance in twenty separate mysterious wooden boxes, each one with a unique key. I’d like to ensure they don’t lose these keys under any circumstance. Also, I’d like them, and my extensive legal team, to be safe when they come to my villa for the eventual reading of the will. Therefore some masks would be helpful too. Any chance you could incorporate a sale that meets these needs into your birthday Meh-rathon?

Of course we can, Anne!

For our birthday, we wanted to give you a deal that’ll leave your friends GREEN with envy!

Ha!

Get it!

Also, there are masks.

Only on our birthday do you get TEN times as many masks as TrackR Pixels!

Look, we’re exhausted with this bit by now too, okay?

Look, sometimes you come up with a bit, and it’s funny on paper, and then you get to the 27th iteration of that bit, and it’s like, maybe we didn’t consider the labor that goes into carrying a bit through 30 offers over the course of 24 hours?

Anyway, grab some TrackRs and some masks!!!

Twenty-eight of thirty. Sweet release from this prison of tracking devices and facial covering is nearly upon us.

But we should say: the TrackR Pixels are actually helpful, and the masks are good masks.

It’s clear by now, right? That what we really wanted you to do was take a little tour of our other sites?

Like, we don’t expect to sell a bunch of these TrackR-and-mask bundles. That’d be crazy. We really just wanted you to know a bit more of what we have to offer elsewhere.

We know this probably seems like a joke, but it’s not. This is it: this is your last chance to get some TrackR Pixels and masks. Today. We’ll probably sell them again at another time. Maybe even fairly soon. But we make no guarantees.

Anyway, thanks for hanging out with us for our birthday. We hope you enjoyed exploring some of our other sites.

Now, it’s getting late, and we’re pretty tired from all of this walking around, so we regrettably must say good night, since we’ve gotta throw some junk together for tomorrow’s sale before we hit the sack.