Haven’t had a “family” Thanksgiving dinner in about 28 years. My aunt and then my dad hosted big boisterous gatherings during my first four decades. They were always fun occasions with lots of jokes told. The after-dinner family slideshow was ultimately abandoned, after Uncle Oscar’s immediate loud snoring evolved into group somnambulance…
@Catburd My family Thanksgiving meal has now become nonexistent, as has my family, as the older generation has passed away. At least my son and I are scheduled to go out and eat that evening (probably only because his girl friend is out of town for the week). But I do miss the big get-togethers of old.
@Catburd@phendrick I think the last major family gathering for Turkey Day in my family was around 1970, when my aunt and uncle and their three kids came over. We lost contact with that entire branch in the late '70s, and there is no close family member living within 1200 miles at this point, so my side is not going to be represented. My S.O. is not a big fan of turkey as a leftover, so we go to a dinner held by an interest group that we’re part of. The conversation tends to be just the normal small talk of people who are not close friends but at least share some common ground.
We usually have 2 Thanksgivings, on 2 different days, so we can spend time with both sides. We both have large families and (practically) everyone gets along and things are pretty peaceful. My brother is politically opinionated and can get loud, but we’re used to it and just laugh.
This one will be rough since it’s our first without my mom, and we’re having it at her house. But it will be nice to have everyone there to honor her as the matriarch, especially since she was the primary reason we all got together at holidays. She loved having everyone together!
The hard part, I think, will be making sure my siblings and I get together in the future since our kids are young adults now. These last 10 years brought us closer because of helping with my mom, but now that’s over. However, since we are entering the season of weddings and babies, we will have lots of wonderful reasons to get together.
I do hope we can keep some sort of family Thanksgiving or Christmas tradition going though. We shall see, lol!
I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving wherever you are, and whether it’s with family or friends. The holidays are hard for those that spend them alone and I pray that there is a spot at a table for everyone who wants one.
*Edited to apologize for the freaking novel here, lol! My ADD made me do it.
I’m so sorry you’ve lost your mom.
(I suspect this year will be the last one we have with my mother; she’s getting really weak and doesn’t really want to live any longer.)
I hope you’re able to have a good day in her honor!
I definitely think my mom sort of gave up and that’s why she passed. She was 88 and broke her ankle in 2 places, and opted not to attempt surgery to fix it.
She was doing ok, but since she couldn’t bear weight on her foot, we had to get some outside help with her personal care 3x a day because neither my sister nor I felt strong enough to do it without hurting ourselves (and my mom was tiny…we’re just old ourselves, lol!)
Having strangers come in and help did not go over well with my mom. She was always independent and pretty much hated having someone else take care of those things. So, she stopped eating well, got weaker and out of bed less, and then it became necessary for hospice. It was a little over 3 months between the break and her passing, so it happened really quick. Ugh.
I’m sorry that your mom is going through those emotions. I hope you both can enjoy the holidays and put aside the worries of what is to come. And take lots, and lots of pictures! You will treasure those smiles so very much!
@k4evryng@Kyeh Sorry about your moms.
My wife’s stepdad was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. (He will be 96 in March.) Up until the last few months, he has been very healthy and active - cutting wood, mowing, tending garden, etc. - way beyond the typical person his age. But not so much lately.
I suspect this will be his last holiday season. My wife’s mom won’t be able to remain in their house on her own, so it looks like some big changes are ahead.
@k4evryng@macromeh Wow, that’s sad. I hope this Thanksgiving is a really good one for you all. My mother was the same way, really active and healthy until just the past couple of years. I hope your mom stays well as long as possible.
@macromeh I’m so sorry. It’s hard to see someone change from being so active to slowing down quickly. On the other hand, it’s so wonderful that he was doing so well up until now. That’s such a blessing!
My mom was active until she fell. Last year she broke her hip, did surgery and rehab, and did remarkably well. But she hated rehab, and when she broke her ankle, she just didn’t want to go through that again. Can’t say I blame her, even though I think she’d probably have lived into her 90’s if she’d done it. It was her choice to make and we respected it.
Is your father-in-law going to do treatments? What a tough decision that is at that age.
As @kyeh said, I hope this thanksgiving is one that you all can enjoy. Embrace the moments you have together, and I hope the new normal that is approaching is an easy transition for everyone.