The Benedict Challenge
4Current Challenge: Explain what eggs Benedict is without using the following words/phrases: eggs, hollandaise, Canadian bacon, English muffin.
WHAT’S GOING ON HERE??
The basics: We’re doing a little April Fools’ Day game, asking our users to complete a series of ridiculous, stupid, and fun (we hope) photography/writing/drawing tasks throughout the day.
But why: Because April Fools’ Day has grown tiresome. Sure, maybe we laughed the first few years that corporations took on the challenge of lying to their customers. But then, we got to the point where Continental was tweeting about their new airliner constructed entirely from bacon or whatever and it got a little old. We want to celebrate April Fools’ Day in a fun way.
Okay, but why on March 31st: Because you’re more likely to be tethered to your computer on a Friday than a Saturday.
Will there be winners: Yes! The winner will be whoever gets the most votes on their entry!
Will there be prizes: Yes! The pride of knowing you had some fun on the internet!
So, there won’t be prizes: Correct. Anyway, we hope you enjoy yourself.
- 43 comments, 34 replies
- Comment
Chicken ovum and pig on a toaster crumpet smothered in gollandskiy.
@Trinityscrew I had to look gollandskiy up. I’ve never heard of that.
a popular breakfast dish that consists of a base made of a round, toasted bread item that is often buttered, topped with a slice of cured pork from North America, and then a protein-rich ingredient from a chicken, which is typically soft-cooked with a runny center. The dish is finished with a creamy, tangy sauce made from butter, lemon juice, and yolks from the aforementioned protein-rich ingredient. This combination creates a savory and satisfying meal, enjoyed by many around the world.
@BearGirlXD Hey, I found the professional chef!
It’s the edible thing you can buy for $60 during a Saturday brunch in NYC.
@ShotgunX I know eggs are expensive but that’s probably too much.
It’s a saucy McMuffin.
@phloggo I’d try that McMuffin.
Named after Benedict Arnold, because it’s a traitor to your bowels and using something British , this popular brunch menu item with a creamy sauce the color of my used gym sock is sure to grab your attention.
@davidaddor The tea didn’t grab us but the hollandaise did.
Leftover toasted bready something, with a funky chicken abortion, mystery meat, covered in quasi-edible goop sauce.
@sar5w The school lunch description.
@sar5w @Targaryen The honest school lunch description.
What’s my favorite breakfast in the whole world…
It’s a unborn chick laying on a piece of cooked pig, it’s drenched in a creamy yellowish sauce and sits ontop of a round disk of gluten with nooks and crannies.
OH YEAH, YUM!
@Lynnerizer It’s like a breakfast remix. Combining one breakfast genre into another.
Stale British bread topped with fake smoked pork belly and a young chicken smothered in a Dutch lemon butter chicken sauce.
@agynmky You left out the Canadians.
@Targaryen I was avoiding saying Canadian. Plus couldn’t figure out a way to say, “Pig meat from the America’s hat” so that it flowed.
Savory open faced breakfast sandwich that’s like sunshine and daisies.
@griffonier Have you ever tried it? I’m never motivated enough to get up and brunch on a weekend.
@griffonier @Targaryen It’s good, ignore the haters.
Topless breakfast sandwich
@lsdie17 This is a family website.
@lsdie17 @Targaryen I know the family; they have an even more colorful term for this.
Traitorous Breakfast Protein
@medz I wonder how he’d feel about having this name associated. “You weren’t known as a great general but you did get a popular breakfast item.”
Disgusting yellow sauce on top of a chicken’s unborn offspring. On bread.
@jsh139 Clearly not a fan of traitors.
/showme breakfast that comes from chicken butt in sauce
@mediocrebot …w-what is it? And what is the function of the single vegetable in the middle?
A breakfast sandwich named after a dead guy, consisting of North American hog strips, chicken uterus nuggets, on a flat tasteless biscuit, covered with creamy, somewhat disgusting yet delicious, sauce.
@Ladybrinx Your description is apt and confusing at the same time.
Want a delightful breakfast featuring the unborn of the chicken? Do you like creamy sauce that is sure to betray you, especially if you are lactose intolerant? Big fan of bread? Put these together with some of the maple-and-hockey brand pig meat and you are in for a real treat!
@mcollier715 Nice description.
A layered, open-faced breakfast sandwich consisting of a toasted bread round (imported from Britain), pork belly (imported from our neighbors to the north), poached chicken ova with the whole thing topped with a delicious chicken ova based, butter-infused sauce.
@dkhuffer I’d put this on a menu description.
@dkhuffer Observation: The closest that the Brits get to what we call “English muffins” is a “crumpet”. But their crumpets are better, IMO.
/showme Pope Benedict making a sandwich in a challenge
@mediocrebot I wonder if they bless the bread before or after it’s made.
Dairy products, lemon juice, meat, and bread. Good stuff!
@Rueki Minimalist description and review.
@Targaryen Still not as short of a review as Worf.
A dish of poached chicken’s ovum on a toasted bread with a savory sauce.
@cengland0 Dang, I was thinking poached ovum too… but I was going to go with crumpet.
@cengland0 But you left out all the other stuff.
Lemon butter snot ruining a perfectly good breakfast sandwich
@AngMoKui I wonder if Benedict Arnold would be pleased by your description or angry?
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@galewarning We’ve probably got some towels for sale for your travels.
Disgusting
@rpg714 The food is trying it’s best.
A breakfast treat named for the guy who played Sherlock on the BBC (first name, not last. The sandwich named after his last name is a dinner delight.) I have never eaten it, because the sauce seems weird, but wealthy people seem to like it, so what am I to say?
@pricciar Benedryl Cucumberlatch or whatever?
A fine example of the difference between being involved with something and being committed to it.
The chicken was merely involved in the making of this breakfast. In comparison, the pig was fully committed.
@snotbottom Just like in Hollywood.
Traitor potential chicken babies
Sunshine smothered with love on a bed of happiness.
The barely heated unfertilized ovum of a fowl, slathered in more of said ovum, but completely unheated, commonly known in my household as “liquichicken”, along with an unholy, wilted slab of what our neighbors to the north (I’m a United States resident) pretend is one of the most scrumptious of crispy pork belly treats, all atop a disc of baked dough of British descent.
A round, holey forked breakfast bread topped with thin slices of smoked swine and embryonic chickens, covered with a creamy emulsion of bovine calf sustenance.
Chat-GPT says: “Eggs Benedict is a breakfast dish that typically consists of a toasted bread base, a meat topping, a poached egg, and a rich, creamy sauce. The sauce is often made with butter, egg yolks, and a tangy ingredient like lemon juice or vinegar. The dish is popular in many parts of the world and is often served at restaurants and cafes as a brunch option.” (Apparently, seeing that it couldn’t say “eggs”, it just used the singular which was technically allowed by the rules. Chat-GPT, technically correct, the best kind of correct.)
Oversized ovum, poached to perfection. Served on Pommy pastry topped with Canuck loin and covered in Dutch emulsion.
The poached, unhatched young of a chicken set atop a piece of roasted and sauteed ham, accompanied by a split crust of bread product, topped with a sauce made primarily from the unhatched young of what might be the same chicken.
This is an open face breakfast sammich that starts with one pretentious piece of round toast (possibly British). Then add a small round slice of pan seared pig fat and meaty tissue from a super polite North American breed of swine, eh! Top with a fried, unhatched baby chicken and smother the entire stack in a golden nectar breakfast sauce from the gods.
Pairs well with Mimosas.
Juicy protein sludge with toast
Deliciousness
The act of pelting some poor slop named after a fight century abbot pelted with female chicken reproductive tissues.
Its when your breakfast is a turncoat and french
Made by a monster: A deshelled, never to become a baby chick, tortured in boiling water until throughly poached, white and yellow clump that is put to bed on a cut in half oddly round breaded mattress with a cover of fried, northern to the USA, pig slices. You then physically abuse this dead baby by pouring on a messy cooked mix of salt, pepper, hot liquid butter, another never to become a baby chick that you have whipped soundly, after smothering it soundly in lime and cream. To hide the abuse add the other half of the oddly rounded breaded mattress. Then eat the evidence before DHS comes calling.
Poached pre-hatched chicken sitting on a slice of ham, eh!. Served on airy, round, British bread and slathered in a lemon butter sauce.
It’s when Mr. Cumberbatch tells a bad yolk and lots of people throw things at his albumen.
A breakfast item consisting of a Poached Butt Nugget, some Letterkenny ham, a Dr Who Muff, holy, shaved and lightly toasted then finally topped by some Dude from Hollands special sauce!
A popular breakfast dish which consists of a toasted bread base (the bread resembles, but is unrelated to, a British crumpet) topped with a slice of savory meat, often ham in a configuration popular in the largest, coldest North American nation, and a poached white and yellow spherical ingredient that is typically used in breakfast dishes. The dish is typically covered with a creamy, tangy sauce made from butter, lemon juice, and the yolk of the white and yellow spherical breakfast ingredient.
Heaven.
@brainmist Yes!!