Thanksgoating - Day twenty. Java Josh
15Today, I am thankful for coffee.
Occasionally my wife will ask me to make her a cup of coffee. It’s a pretty easy thing to do and I’ll walk you through the steps in detail so you can follow along at home!
First, you need to pick a coffee you want to make. Go to your stockpile of beans and pick one that you like. I’m a big fan of single estate, Kenyan AA beans. It’s a fun place to start.
Today we’ll be going with this one!
Uh oh! Those beans are still raw! Let’s measure out a pound of beans for the roaster. Thankfully I have this measuring cup that for some reason holds exactly one pound of beans.
Now we need to take this show outside. Even though the roaster has a catalytic converter it does tend to set off the smoke alarms if you roast inside. You’ll need to baby sit it for about 30 minutes or so because it has “safety” features that require you to press a button every three minutes, because if left unattended, unpleasant fires can happen. It’s kind of like that computer in LOST.
Once the cooling cycle has completed, shake the rotary drum for a few minutes to expel all the chaff. My wife doesn’t want that in her coffee! Then put the toasty beans in an airtight container and twiddle your thumbs for 14-18 hours while the beans de-gas.
When your thumbs have bulked up, put your beans in a conical burr mill grinder. Preferable one with a low RPM motor. I think it’s an old wife’s tale, but the thought is that high RPM grinders create heat and over cook your beans while they grind them. I dunno… safety third.
At this point you need to figure out how you want to prepare your coffee. Today, we are going to do a simple pour over. So get some water heating in a goose-neck kettle and grind enough coffee to fill the filter for your pour over.
When your water is ready, pour just a bit over the grounds and let it sit for about 45 seconds to bloom. This just wakes up the coffee. Then slowly pour the water over your coffee until the carafe is almost full.
Then let it rest a moment and collect anything you want to add to your coffee. My wife likes a little honey in her coffee so today we will choose one from the capital city of Ljubljana in Slovenia. Local is good too.
When you are ready to pour, find the mug that your spouse hates the most. Significant others sometimes feel the need to complain about something. This gives them an easy out. Everybody’s happy.
So. There you have it. A few easy steps about how to make a cup of coffee if you’re ever asked to do so.
My thumbs are tired.
Happy Sunday
JB
- 7 comments, 29 replies
- Comment
Wheh, glad I only drink tea, that was exhausting!![:rofl:](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f923.png)
![:wink:](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f609.png)
@tinamarie1974 Same. I don’t drink coffee or tea, but I’ve hung around a lot of coffee snobs lately, and I can appreciate their passion. I’ve found I can like coffee if it’s prepared properly, but it takes lots of time and can be expensive.
My normal time for needing a caffeine hit is in the afternoon where I don’t have time. Cracking open a soda can takes less than 1% of the time it takes to do this, and i appreciate the taste even more.![:upside_down:](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f643.png)
@tinamarie1974 @Weboh I actually have root beer on tap right now. I also make ice cream.![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@capnjb @tinamarie1974 Consider me jelly. I would love to have soda on tap. How did you procure your tap?
@tinamarie1974 @Weboh There are a lot of pieces parts. The back end is a keg fridge that I drilled holes in to run tubing through. It has a 5lb CO2 tank with a dual gauge regulator and is managed by a Johnson controller to keep it at a specified temperature. Keg tubing runs up and through the wall to Perlick taps. Lots of bobbles and widgets to connect all that. Once you finish your keg of root beer, you either need to make another keg of root beer or replace your beer lines. Root beer lives forever in tubing![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@capnjb @tinamarie1974 After reading the main post, I should have known it would be hopelessly complicated. One of these days I’ll find a simple way to do it. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
@capnjb @tinamarie1974 @Weboh IME, even with careful scrubbing and sanitizing, somehow the stainless steel kegs retain the scent of root beer. Fortunately I had enough kegs to dedicate one for soda.
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIABAP///wAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)
BTW, this is the best extract for making root beer I found:
@macromeh @tinamarie1974 @Weboh I think that’s the one I did when my wife was pregnant. Currently I have this one working:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F8ZFVRJ/
However it’s very viscous and doesn’t carbonate well. I had to pull a gallon or so and add more water, set the psi to crazy levels and shake the shit out of the keg to get it proper. But surprising your girl with an unexpected, tap poured root beer float gets you a lot of points. Not that I’m keeping score![;)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f609.png)
@capnjb @tinamarie1974 @Weboh
Can I come to your house lol you make coffee and ice cream maybe you need to come to mine and retrain my boyfriend. Although he does make me breakfast on Sunday morning and dinner Sunday night during the summer (that’s when we grill) the rest of the time I cook.
@Star2236 @tinamarie1974 @Weboh There is always room at my table.![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@capnjb @macromeh @tinamarie1974 @Weboh Drinkin’ the Sprechers root beer right now.
You can get little kegs directly from them . I didn’t order, pickup, or pay, but my guess is someone went there to Wisconsin to pick it up.
“It’s just like driving to Czechoslovakia!”
[Good for a “dry” work party, when HR suddenly changes their booze policy w/o notice (must hire at least 2 non-company pourologists, that need to be present at all times).]
Fuckin’ TASTY! Bottle or keg.
Keg looks nothing like 1/2 or 1/4 barrel of beer, so no keg-stands, unless you are a trained circus performer.
Fun fact. Coffee has caffeine because the fruit trees that grow the coffee cherries (yeah… that’s something to think about) produce it as a natural pesticide. You’re drinking RAID!![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@capnjb Fun fact: All plants have a natural pesticide, and it can be collected by burning it a certain way and condensing the smoke into a liquid. It makes pesticide that’s good against tons of pests.
In a roundabout way, this means that smoked meat has RAID in it, too.![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
I guess she has to ask a day or two in advance?
Sounds like it’s definitely worth the wait, though!
@Kyeh This has to happen for all sorts of requests with me![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@capnjb @Kyeh
So, do you join her in the consumption, or are you “not a coffee person”?
@chienfou @Kyeh This process wouldn’t happen if I wasn’t![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@capnjb @chienfou @Kyeh![:joy:](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f602.png)
Ah ha the truth coming out! Lol
Seriously, it’s nice to be so invested, you guys obviously ENJOY life’s little things! Taking time to stop and smell the coffee is what it’s all about!
Throw all the lawn darts at me you want, but I am generally quite happy with a hot cup of instant (caffeinated) coffee. I get it in two minutes instead of two days, and I can control the strength quite easily.
In fact, the coffee at the local breakfast chain restaurant has started to taste quite bitter to me.
And I can easily make the exact amount I feel like drinking, so don’t pour any out. And no grounds to dispose of.
I do like the fresh brewed coffee we get served after services at the church hall. I don’t know what variety is used, but I doubt that it is anything fancy or milled there.
@phendrick Heh, you should drink what you like.
I’m just a fan of the process. And I said I’d be honest about everything… the truth is while I typically keep 20-30 pounds of raw coffee around (they can last for years!) I also have a box of single serve Starbucks instant coffee packets. They are wonderfully convenient. I also enjoy McDonalds coffee.
Now look what you’ve done!![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@phendrick I know someone who has his own small coffee plantation. He uses the profits to buy those instant packets that are only 20% coffee and drinks those instead.![:stuck_out_tongue:](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png)
@Weboh I probably will regret asking, but what is the other 80%?
I’ll guess I’ll have to reread the label on my Folger’s instant jar.
@phendrick Sugar, dehydrated milk, and preservatives.
@phendrick @Weboh Bah! That’s the wrong kind of instant.
Coffee only needs milk and sugar when it’s stale and bitter. Oh, wait. ![;)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f609.png)
@capnjb @Weboh I finally looked at the Folger’s jar while making my second cup of instant this morning. No ingredients list, but it says in several places “100% pure coffee”. So there’s nothing else in it, until I add it myself (usually just the white granulated sugar of the hoi polloi).
@phendrick @Weboh Aftertaste. And not a good one.
Looks like a fun process to try once. I used to drink coffee all day and night until I started waking up all night. Now I only have one cup in the morning. Usually French roast ground coffee, supermarket brand is fine, set up the night before in a drip coffee maker with a timer.
Cool!
We buy our Green Coffee Beans from Sweet Marias also! We stockpiled a bit for winter, have them stored in their canvas bags.
We tried other online sources, but think SM has the best and freshest beans.
I like our converted air roaster (popcorn popper) and it can do 2/3 cup of green beans in a batch. We do 5 batches at a time usually.
Maybe I’ll post a few pics if I can figure how to post a pic from my phone…
@daveinwarsh I do like Sweet Maria’s but my other go to is https://thecaptainscoffee.com/
They were so great about answering any questions when I first got into roasting. They helped me dial-in my first roaster and gave me lots of tips. They’ve gotten a little more expensive, but I appreciate great customer service and I believe in supporting small businesses.![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@capnjb @daveinwarsh Appropriately named, too!
@daveinwarsh @macromeh Not a sponsor.![:)](https://dj5zo597wtsux.cloudfront.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f642.png)
@daveinwarsh
“Maybe I’ll post a few pics if I can figure how to post a pic from my phone…”
Figure that shit out NOW!
Or at your earliest convenience.
You roast beans with your hot-air popper??
I must know how!
I used to drink coffee every day and I love it but lately if I have a cup of coffee I get the worst heartburn and die the following day from it. It will even make my face break out like (almost like I’m having a really bad allergic reaction). The only thing I’ve found I can drink is lattes or cappuccinos or Frappuccino‘s something thats mixed. I’m assuming it’s bc all the extra milk and stuff mixed with the expresso. Although I haven’t found a very low acidic coffee yet to try. I would love to find one that I could drink weekly and not die from. I’ve also had my gull bladder removed since I used to drink coffee too so I don’t know if that used to help process it.
@Star2236 I know what it’s like to fight with a gallbladder. Heh. If you want to whisper me your address, I think I have some beans that are lower acidic. I’ll send you half a pound and you can try it. If it works, cool. If you end up throwing them out, my feelings won’t be hurt.
It might take a little bit, but I’ll reach out to my coffee purveyor and ask about low, low acid beans. Lemme know.
@Star2236 Omeprazole is your friend.
@G1
I take something else (can’t remember off the top of my head) everyday and then take that when I get bad. Before I got my gull bladder removed that stuff didn’t even work for me bc shit was so bad. I had to take dexilant on a daily basis.