Terrible Reviews: "⭐☆☆☆☆: Subway has gotten afraid to put some meat on their sandwiches."
12Inspired by Gus Johnson’s great video series about local reviews, I checked the google reviews for the local Subway restaurants, and my goodness. Please, allow me to share with you:
Sometimes a sandwich artist is more of a Jackson Pollock
…And sometimes they’re more of a Robert Mapplethorpe.
Good call getting the conflict of interest out in the open
In case you were wondering, here’s that guy’s profile pic
Search for Subway on Google Maps and scroll through the reviews, I can almost guarantee there will be at least one worth sharing. Post what you find!
- 21 comments, 33 replies
- Comment
“normal”
@katylava Pretty smooth. I’m wondering if there was a 21st anniversary.
@katylava @mehcuda67 Maybe check the obituaries?
@Trillian Now that’s customer service.
@sammydog01 @Trillian On bended knee, no doubt.
@Trillian where is this subway, asking for a friend?
@OnionSoup - Call cooperate.
@aetris do you think she’s been promoted to corporate?
@OnionSoup - Conceivably.
Honestly can’t tell who is an employee or customer in this dramatic scene.
“I hate when the commoners think they can just talk to me like they’re human”
Thank you so much for this gift, Google translate.
This was a worthwhile venture into the consciousness of the public…
One star worth of meat.
Directions to a different Subway?
These things are not other things.
What kind of transformer is a pepuklecon?
The pepuklecon mentioned above, called out by name. He owns all the Subways in the area.
THEY ALSO BROKE HER CAPS LOCK KEY
Having frequented Subway in the past, how some of these people have managed to have completely bizarre experiences escapes me. Things just don’t happen the way they say they did.
Five stars for okay!
Watch out for agent Smith at this mall Subway (who may also be the Asian lady mentioned above if you can’t see through the matrix)
Again, how does this happen when they make it right in front of you? This requires not only that the employee fuck up, but that you supervise the employee’s fuck up and approve it. Or pay zero attention to what is going on with your food being prepared.
Mike Zylstra is peeeeeeeeeved.
Can I take the premise a step further?
Lots of ludicrous reviews out there.
Here are some one-star Google reviews for Plymouth Rock (the monument).
smh
@kdemo You mean to tell me the Mayflower isn’t still there? What a ripoff.
@medz - I know. No Pilgrims either. Total scam.
@kdemo Hmm well you do know it is just a random rock since they have no clue which is the “real” one…
@kdemo Years ago my wife & I were with her sister in England. We took her kids to see Stonehenge, and when we got there the 5-6 year old nephew declared: “Rocks! We came here to look at rocks?”
We have never, ever let him live it down.
@kdemo lol As a Mass. native, I have to agree. Plymouth rock is a joke.
I don’t think there’s been a single tourist who’s seen the rock and not been underwhelmed.
It’s a rock, in a cage, with a number on it.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@DennisG2014 - All due respect, it doesn’t matter if it’s a pebble. It’s a symbol, a key to our American history, thus inspirational to many.
I saw The Rosetta Stone at The British Museum. It’s just a rock, but incredibly impactful.
.
Plus, if Plymouth Rock was a pebble, it might be good for skipping.
@kdemo Meh, I’m not due any respect.
But let me ask you this - is the Rosetta Stone you saw the actual Rosetta Stone? Is it a faithful replica of the real thing? Or is it just a (literal) garden variety stone with the words ROSETTA STONE stamped on it?
Because that’s basically what Plymouth rock is - just some unremarkable stone with the numbers 1620 carved into it and placed into a cage inside a ‘temple’.
Have you seen it?
It’s a silly tourist attraction.
I mean, I get that it’s a symbol and it has been venerated for several centuries at this point, which alone gives it historical provenance.
But personally, I think it should be displayed in an understated way in a local museum, not in a cage under a gaudy temple.
The presumed location where the pilgrims disembarked from the Mayflower should be marked with a tasteful plaque.
That’s just my opinion, of course, but if you were to hang around the Rock for awhile, you’d witness scores of tourists uttering some variation of, “that’s it?”
It’s like the universal reaction, and it’s pretty amusing.
@medz That last lady is a baby. One time a sandwich artist was making my sandwich and a not-insignificant amount of her stomach was resting on the bread the whole time she put the ingredients on. There were no gloves for her stomach, just a dirty shirt. And I ate it!
(I didn’t eat it, I paid and threw it away after I left like the coward I am)
@sammydog01 How could he be a fat guy if he’s been eating Subway for 22 years?
Unless advertising is a lie?
Today I encountered this questionable strategy:
It goes on with more detail, so at least there is something to read.
Mine did not disappoint.
This one would probably bother Irk more than it should.
Meh
I’d like to meet this lady.
Him too.
@zachdecker bob bob’s not wrong about the naval base. But if you’re in North Chicago and not eating at the Full Moon, I don’t know…
Anyone that is under 10 reviews should not be taken seriously. Build up your anger at the world and you’ll get more respect…
@ACraigL what on earth. A subway with two floors?!
@Moose The one that just closed near me had two floors.
@Kidsandliz @Moose Did it have a blow up mattress on the second floor?
@Kidsandliz @mehcuda67 @Moose Maybe it’s a bouncy castle?
/giphy goat the more you know goat
@luvche21 J. Vaughn Fairbanks doesn’t demand a lot out of life. He’s a simple fella.
@UncleVinny I wish that all I wanted out of life was a sandwich. Things would be so much simpler that way.
If it was “literally just mustard”, what did they spread it on?
I found the WEED!
Subway is a disgusting excuse for a sandwich shop. I have no idea how the chain got that big. Living in the Philly area, Subway shouldn’t even be allowed within 100 miles. That said, this review near my job sums up the overall experience at most locations.
@cinoclav I haven’t had any bad experiences with them. They’re not gourmet or even the best… But I’d rather a $5 ham footlong than what I can get at McDonalds or Wendy’s or one of those other nasty burger chains for the same price
@OnionSoup There are 520 calories in a footlong ham sandwich from Subway. That includes the ham, 9 grain wheat roll, and vegetables. That does not include any other ingredients like cheese, mayo or mustard, bacon, etc. A Big Mac is 540 calories and infinitely tastier in my personal opinion. Plus McDonald’s has much better quality and portion control. Not to mention, I’d rather share a cell with Hamburglar than Jared…
@cinoclav I’m going to have to disagree with you on quality control. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad Subway experience (or a good McDonalds experience… But I haven’t been to McD in over 5 years so maybe they’ve got their act together).
Neither are health food but the main difference between a footlong and a burger though being… A burger by itself won’t fill you, but a foot long will. Plus after McDonalds always have that nasty greasy accumulation in back of throat. No grease with a sandwich.
@OnionSoup To each his own. If you’ve never had a bad Subway experience, than you’ve never had a really good sandwich to compare it to. The only thing filling about that sandwich is the 11" (it’s never really a foot long) of roll. For me, a Big Mac or a similar sandwich is absolutely filling enough. Regardless, if you enjoy it, more power to you. I’m not going to tell you what to eat. As for me, I’ll choose something like this delightful Italian hoagie in Philly.
@cinoclav @OnionSoup
I’m having a really hard time reconciling these two quotes. I have to believe you have had a really good hamburger at some point in your life.
I can’t argue with you about the Hamburglar vs. Jared, though. And M.C. Kids was a surprisingly good NES game.
And McDonald’s finally broke cultural barriers in introducing sweet tea to the rest of the country.
Literally.
Another meh review