When young and just starting dating, I feel like questions about tastes in entertainment, food and activities are a polite way to see if this is going to be fun. When dating progresses, it becomes time to ask other, more important questions.
When you’re older, and more desperate for an LTR that won’t abruptly end by discovering dealbreakers too late, it becomes more important to see how many potential boxes get ticked early on.
Also, people can change. That’s what happened to my husband; they both changed in ways that made them incompatible, and I ended up in an LTR-turned-marriage that neither of us would have anticipated a few years earlier.
@werehatrack I suppose I approach it from a different angle. Dating is to form a long term relationship by definition. Hence to me. Do you want kids. Where are we gonna live. Deal breakers should happen up front. Which is heavy
If they aren’t alligned then well that’s probably never gonna work let’s take that off the table but it we like the same band… Ya know
Things can obviously change but that shouldn’t be the expectations in a friend relationship
@Kidsandliz@Kyeh@macromeh
I have never been sprayed by a skunk or had a pet sprayed by one but i drive with the windows down when I can and plenty of skunks get hit.
I have to say I don’t dislike it… It’s not bad passing through. I mostly think poor skunk. I might feel different if it was constant in the house. But come on
I promise not to bring a skunk home unless de-scented and the humane society has no where to put it.
Obviously I’d discuss it first
That’s a good one for me. There um… There’s a lot of cats… And they destroy things.
But like going behind you partner back to get a dog then we can’t get rid of it… I’m… On the side of total honesty
Yes your butt looks big in that dress and I’m… Good with that.
@Kidsandliz@macromeh@unksol I think the skunk scent is kind if like the cilantro flavor - for some people it isn’t so bad. Maybe? I had a boss who actually liked the smell.
I started to say unscented products only but then I do sometimes add a drop of lavender or other essential oil onto a corner of a wet item before putting it in the dryer, and it scents the whole load. Nice for sheets & towels.
@Kyeh I’m not sure I like the smell of skunk. I would not have a skunk candle. But a few times a year I drive through a hit skunk and. It’s… Unoffensive… I kinda like it in a weird way
I wouldn’t what to be sprayed by one. You also know something died… It’s weird. And they are adorable
I nearly killed a skunk that jumped out in front of moving vehicle 2 feet away. Fortunately going slo.
I braked and swerved and the annoyance lived on.
Sprayed my car tho.
Not my fav smell.
Beware tho. Skunks carry rabies in Texas and surrounding areas.
@f00l@Kyeh also unless you were 100% sure. Like you could see the entire road ahead… You should not swerve.
Like a squirrel darting across the road. A dog. If you swerve for that into incoming traffic you may kill them and you. It can’t be instinct.
I hit a raccoon on a Michigan back road. We needed to keep it in the lane. Lightly brushed an in
Indiana deer with a plastic bumper. Great
The one that feels the worst to me is a cat sprinted in front of me on a high way over pass. In the middle of the country. No reason for it to cross that way. Or be on the bridge. No time to react.
She wanted to go back… I don’t think you understand I felt it’s body through the suspension. It’s dead.
@kittykat9180
I assume at some point you did/were wooed
I reuse the same bowl/plate if it’s not ACTUALLY dirty. Like if I’m just using the same coffee mug for hot black coffee every day. I don’t need to wash that.i prefer to minimize washing
If I’m living with someone who wants to wash everything every day… I think it’s unnecessary but fine. I don’t need to win. I’ll just
put it in and run the dishwasher every day.
We hand washed everything when I was a kid. One of got the washing side and one kid got the rinse/rack. So I could work with that.
I think a deal breaker could be someone expecting all home tasks to fall on one person. Or child care
@kittykat9180 I don’t lol. I’m the only one here although the cats spread their fluff. If I reuse the same plate/bowl/fork. Meh. 95% they can just be rinsed and left to dry.
@kittykat9180@unksol I’ll reuse my dishes/cutlery in the same meal (e.g., wipe the dinner plate and reuse it for dessert). And I only put my coffee mug in the dishwasher once or twice a week. Pretty much everything else gets washed after one use.
Who’s gonna take the trash out?
Who’s gonna walk the dogs when it’s below freezing and pick up their warm shit. Well both of you have to be ready for that.
@werehatrack I feal ways about that. If they accepted all the negatives of the cats… Shedding and destroying stuff and I was doing the litterboxes before that… It’s still my problem. I would appreciate help if they also enjoy the cats. But ya know. It’s my fault
Now… If we want kids. I will absolutely put a baby in them and kids can start scooping poop at some point.
That being said if you’re being totally honest and you get married you are agreeing to own each others mistakes together. Like finances… So. Litter boxes… Eh
@therealjrn@werehatrack I’m trying one out. Offbrand Amazon. I’ve seen the girls use it/it functions fine.
Probably going to get a different open top one to try for the large boys. But the water heater died in a way I could not fix this time so. Yea bought and installed a new one. Waiting for financials to balance back before more exploratory purchases.
But they china one seems to be fine if the cats will use it
@unksol - For when you’re ready here’s our experience with the open top box.
Edited to say I really didn’t mean to be so wordy. 🫣
We have the Neakasa Litter box, it’s the open top kind, it’s been great for our 15 lb BIG boy Tuc! But… If I was to buy another one I wouldn’t get the high priced Neakasa, I’d buy one of those no name brand ones (like you mentioned buying) from Amazon. We needed to put a step (we used a wooden shelf riser) because I think it’s too high. I mean the cat is able to jump on the counter (along with other very high places that he’s also got no business being ) so he could jump into the box but IMO it shouldn’t take that much effort to toilet yourself, not for anyone! The one they sell as an accessory (that REALLY should have been included ) is nice because it matches in color but at $69 I just assume use what I already had. The other thing we have an issue with (which might be an issue in all open top boxes, IDK) is that he tosses a lot of litter out when he’s digging his spot or covering his poo! We did just recently purchase the $50 fender, another accessory that SHOULD have been INCLUDED! We haven’t installed it yet so I can’t say if it’s helpful. At least the box came with a nice mat to put in front of it that catches most of that kicked out litter so it’s not really that difficult to clean it up, it’s just a little bit of a nuisance. There’s one more thing that I almost forgot… Even though we have it set not to automatically clean for 15 minutes after he’s done his business (like the company recommended) in order for everything to harden up, it still makes a little mess that can be seen on the inside wall. Again, not difficult to wipe with a damp paper towel or a Lysol wipe but when you’ve got limited movement like I do it becomes another annoyance, and/or something to bitch about! 🫣 …
When I was first shopping around for the litter box I couldn’t find another open top box in grey or black. 🩶 White would have stood out like a sore thumb where I needed to put it and I wasn’t having that! In the last few months I’ve seen a whole bunch of different one’s on Amazon, maybe not in MY preferred color but definitely MUCH cheaper! I’d definitely try one of those for around $150 before I’d buy another Neakasa! Jus sayen…
All in all we LOVE the whole concept of no more scooping, we only wish we’d done it sooner!
Still experimenting with them. They look way higher off the ground which is why I went with the other style for the first one. But nobody’s fat/lazy/mobility issues. Alex is just. Large. Lol
@unksol@werehatrack I deal with my dog, my wife deals with the cat and the litter box (but I get up first in the morning, so I feed both pets their breakfast). Works for us.
Yeah it’s definitely worth it! I’d get that grey one in the link, it looks exactly like mine. And yes I forgot to mention how much money we save on litter, we use a third of what we used to use!
We’re all happy cats!
@macromeh@werehatrack lol
I’m not saying it’s a labor saver but you know. If I gotta wipe their butts for a few years never mind raising good human beings. It can go on the chore list
Warning I am terrible at describing physical objects.
And I’m going to have to look up these automatic litter boxes.
—-
I have a friend (who lived alone and had the space) who had this amazing litter box shelf thing. It was about the size of a small dresser or bureau.
These was an open entrance at the bottom.
Midway up (not directly accessible from the front unless one bent down to the cat entrance at floor level and then reached up)
Was a shelf about half the width of the entire thing that was a platform for the litter box plus room for a cat landing area when the cat jumped up.
So the car would enter, jump up, use the box, then jump down.
He bought that non-tracking sort of litter but some always got tracked. So in front of the entire thing was one of those mats which captures litter so that it does not get tracked all over the house.
—-
So now all of you who can visualize this plus all of you who don’t want to try visualizing it are wondering
“WTF?” And “Why bother?”
Ok
The genius part was the top
Both sides of the entire thing were closed. The back was closed. The front was closed except for the cat entry square on the floor.
But the top was two hinged panels in each end.
You opened the one over the litter box to scoop.
You opened both of them to lift the litter box out completely for cleaning or litter replacement
The genius part is
No Bending Over!!!
(For the humans)
And the cats like it because privacy.
And no smell ever seemed to escape.
I’ll see if I can get a brand name and a link.
This would be super easy to build from scratch for those so inclined.
My friend is now living with his gf and her kids. She has a smallish dog. The 20-30 lb sort.
One of the benefits of this “litter bureau” is that this particular dog can’t get to the shelf that hold the litter box.
—-
I don’t know until I see videos but … this sort of thing might be compatible with the self scooping litter boxes I suppose.
—
My friend managed to persuade other people to get one of these “litter bureaus”.
They loved it
It turned out that the “bending over” was about the worst part of dealing with the litter boxes.
@f00l@macromeh@unksol@werehatrack That does sound like a clever piece of furniture. I still have the classic litterbox, but I solved the bending over part of it by buying a collapsible stepstool. It folds flat for storage so it’s super convenient. Meh sold them once; they should sell them again (hint, hint, @troy!) Mine isn’t this tall, but the same design.
@f00l@Kyeh@macromeh@troy@werehatrack if you can get a cat to use it you can do all sorts of stuff. I kinda like the idea. And with a few cats might be easy.
I’m pretty sure a few like some visibility
Also my god Alex isn’t a maine coon but. He’s a big boy
@f00l@Kyeh@macromeh@troy@unksol@werehatrack Yeah, I made something like this long ago. The bottom and one side was open and had wheels on the same side and a handle on the other so that I could lift it and roll it away to expose the litterbox for “processing”.
@f00l@Kyeh@macromeh@troy@werehatrack I honestly think I could have gotten kitcat to use those toilet inserts when it was just him. He was. Very well behaved
@werehatrack An interesting thread would be, best approaches for “dates” (since sometimes it’s better not to call a date a date.) For example, something I think is very important for a first rendezvous is having an escape plan, so if things go really badly you’re not stuck driving that person home.
@f00l@KNmeh7 I’ve had lots of cats that never attacked toilet paper… until the latest one who doesn’t just try to unroll it, if she finds a roll not on dispenser will bite chunks out of it.
I suppose the big red flags are obvious and include the usual.
I would need:
Sincerity
A relatively easy temperament.
Competence at basic life stuff.
Enough openness that we can figure out how to fit together and include our families to an appropriate degree
Tolerance over tiny things
Cleaning:
Someone who runs a clean house and a clean life
(I can’t stand uncleaned kitchens that are still that way an hour after the meal or festivities are over)
(I can’t stand it when competent people create a mess and don’t immediately clean it up)
(I have sometimes been so put off over friend’s homes that I just cleaned up [always asking q’s, I don’t take over or mastermind someone else’s space]. Thus turned out to be an error because then they expected me to clean up after them. Uhhh NO)
Someone who will neither tolerable being assigned the “servant” role not tolerate someone else playing that role.
Things should be roughly 50-50.
Re changing the sheets: every week is nice but not mandatory.
Re wiping out gf barely used cups plates cutlery instead of washing:
I’m all for this. Often I create meals in order to minimize dish mess anyway.
—-
For someone I live with:
No crazy mental issues
No manipulative types
No self-deceiving types
No unresolved anger issues
No small or large deceptions.
Someone must be nice to be around. And empathetic.
And not completely consumed by hobbies or whatever so they’re basically never available.
—-
Re scents and allergens etc
No scents or allergens I or the other person would react seriously to ever.
I’m fine w no scents at all.
I don’t much like candies and incense to create scent.
Scented essential oils would be fine.
—-
Well cared for cats and dogs are a plus.
All cats are superior beings.
All dogs are good dogs.
—-
If something about the desired lifestyle were kinda intensive or high maintenance
Other party wants to travel constantly
Or be on a boat or is a pilot
Or tinkers a lot with unusual things
Is a dedicated sports or fitness fanatic
I’d prob need time to andjust and see if there were still a fit.
I was married for 25 years, I have been dating about 10 years since the divorce.
I can honestly say any and all canned “questions“ are annoying as hell, and people need to stop doing it.
Just have conversations… normal conversations, and shit will normally come up casually. No need to force anything. Chemistry is king, and that determines more than anything if people stay together.
Besides, if you’re sincere about dating at all, you’re trying to be on your best behavior, show your best sides, and downplaying your weak points.
Yes, I get that. It’s better to just let things flow. It’s hard to admit, but my weakness is just so much giving to others with no thought to accolades.
I’m probably a bit too humble if I’m really honest.
Maybe more than they should
I was just reheating some leftovers in the microwave.
How do you feel about using the microwave at high power vs the correct way at 50% for longer.
The appliance having a sligh way to treat it to get it to work vs replacing
Also I’m fully aware this is probably going to devolve into a "there is a correct way to do this and it’s mine
Or the people who have learned not to give a fuck as long as it gets done
When young and just starting dating, I feel like questions about tastes in entertainment, food and activities are a polite way to see if this is going to be fun. When dating progresses, it becomes time to ask other, more important questions.
When you’re older, and more desperate for an LTR that won’t abruptly end by discovering dealbreakers too late, it becomes more important to see how many potential boxes get ticked early on.
Also, people can change. That’s what happened to my husband; they both changed in ways that made them incompatible, and I ended up in an LTR-turned-marriage that neither of us would have anticipated a few years earlier.
@werehatrack I suppose I approach it from a different angle. Dating is to form a long term relationship by definition. Hence to me. Do you want kids. Where are we gonna live. Deal breakers should happen up front. Which is heavy
If they aren’t alligned then well that’s probably never gonna work let’s take that off the table but it we like the same band… Ya know
Things can obviously change but that shouldn’t be the expectations in a friend relationship
“Do you use dryer sheets or fabric softener?” The smell is just toxic to me; I wouldn’t even want to meet in person.
@Kyeh So how do the magic wool balls rate on the scale? (That’s what we use - they seem to do the job with no imparted odor.)
@macromeh I’ve never tried them but they seem fine (awfully cute, too.) Just nothing with a synthetic odor.
@Kyeh @macromeh Hmm anything with no synthetic odor is fine? How about skunk? Will that be acceptable. It’s nature made.
@Kidsandliz @macromeh 🫤
@Kyeh I have both the “sheeps balls” and unscented dryer sheets in the eternal battle against cat fuzz.
Anyone who could tolerate the cat fuzz I would surrender the dyer sheets for.
I just think if you are trying to start a relationship you should lay out all the potential complications at the front door.
“I’m never going to lie to you/hide shit and I expect the same back”
@unksol Well, that’s certainly the #1 consideration, I agree!
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @macromeh
I have never been sprayed by a skunk or had a pet sprayed by one but i drive with the windows down when I can and plenty of skunks get hit.
I have to say I don’t dislike it… It’s not bad passing through. I mostly think poor skunk. I might feel different if it was constant in the house. But come on
I promise not to bring a skunk home unless de-scented and the humane society has no where to put it.
Obviously I’d discuss it first
That’s a good one for me. There um… There’s a lot of cats… And they destroy things.
But like going behind you partner back to get a dog then we can’t get rid of it… I’m… On the side of total honesty
Yes your butt looks big in that dress and I’m… Good with that.
@Kidsandliz @macromeh @unksol I think the skunk scent is kind if like the cilantro flavor - for some people it isn’t so bad. Maybe? I had a boss who actually liked the smell.
I started to say unscented products only but then I do sometimes add a drop of lavender or other essential oil onto a corner of a wet item before putting it in the dryer, and it scents the whole load. Nice for sheets & towels.
@Kyeh I’m not sure I like the smell of skunk. I would not have a skunk candle. But a few times a year I drive through a hit skunk and. It’s… Unoffensive… I kinda like it in a weird way
I wouldn’t what to be sprayed by one. You also know something died… It’s weird. And they are adorable
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @macromeh
Also some people wash the sheets every week.
That might be one of the things where… Sure you do that I’m… not gonna do that. Unless you ask me. If they were wet… IDK different things
@Kyeh @unksol
I nearly killed a skunk that jumped out in front of moving vehicle 2 feet away. Fortunately going slo.
I braked and swerved and the annoyance lived on.
Sprayed my car tho.
Not my fav smell.
Beware tho. Skunks carry rabies in Texas and surrounding areas.
@f00l @Kyeh lol I don’t pet racoons either
@f00l @Kyeh also unless you were 100% sure. Like you could see the entire road ahead… You should not swerve.
Like a squirrel darting across the road. A dog. If you swerve for that into incoming traffic you may kill them and you. It can’t be instinct.
I hit a raccoon on a Michigan back road. We needed to keep it in the lane. Lightly brushed an in
Indiana deer with a plastic bumper. Great
The one that feels the worst to me is a cat sprinted in front of me on a high way over pass. In the middle of the country. No reason for it to cross that way. Or be on the bridge. No time to react.
She wanted to go back… I don’t think you understand I felt it’s body through the suspension. It’s dead.
@Kyeh @unksol Hmmm …
/showme new hit perfume called “ode de la skunk” on beautiful woman but everyone around her is wearing clothes pins on their nose.
@cfg83 Here’s the image you requested for “new hit perfume called “ode de la skunk” on beautiful woman but everyone around her is wearing cl…”
@mediocrebot I guess clothes pins are too old skool to understand how to apply on nose.
I don’t use my dishwasher, I prefer handwashing.
I also don’t date.
@kittykat9180
I assume at some point you did/were wooed
I reuse the same bowl/plate if it’s not ACTUALLY dirty. Like if I’m just using the same coffee mug for hot black coffee every day. I don’t need to wash that.i prefer to minimize washing
If I’m living with someone who wants to wash everything every day… I think it’s unnecessary but fine. I don’t need to win. I’ll just
put it in and run the dishwasher every day.
We hand washed everything when I was a kid. One of got the washing side and one kid got the rinse/rack. So I could work with that.
I think a deal breaker could be someone expecting all home tasks to fall on one person. Or child care
@unksol
We had to handwash growing up and I hated it. But now I’m just washing for one instead of 4.
I wash my tea mug every day.
@kittykat9180 I don’t lol. I’m the only one here although the cats spread their fluff. If I reuse the same plate/bowl/fork. Meh. 95% they can just be rinsed and left to dry.
When cooking… That’s different pans to clean
@kittykat9180 @unksol I’ll reuse my dishes/cutlery in the same meal (e.g., wipe the dinner plate and reuse it for dessert). And I only put my coffee mug in the dishwasher once or twice a week. Pretty much everything else gets washed after one use.
@macromeh @unksol
That’s reasonable
@macromeh it your just having some chips. Or a sandwich. Something not wet or greasy. And you’re gonna have the same thing tomorrow… Meh?
@unksol I suppose it’s easier to manage if you live alone. Otherwise - “hmm, which used plate on the counter was mine?”…
@macromeh which why do I care if it’s a dry clean plate… If someone I regularly exchange bodily fluids in more direct ways might have had a sandwich
Ya know. If I’m gonna kiss you every day what’s a couple bread crumbs… But I would yield here
Plates and cheap. Loading running the dishwasher is easy. Or washing in the sink.
It may just be that you don’t have to be right all the time.
@unksol Also, not all households just consist of one couple…
Who’s gonna take the trash out?
Who’s gonna walk the dogs when it’s below freezing and pick up their warm shit. Well both of you have to be ready for that.
Cause you both agreed WE want a dog
@unksol [raises hand] “I didn’t.”
Cat boxes, OTOH, must be cooperative.
@unksol @werehatrack
I’m just saying “automatic litter boxes saves relationships” is all.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@werehatrack I feal ways about that. If they accepted all the negatives of the cats… Shedding and destroying stuff and I was doing the litterboxes before that… It’s still my problem. I would appreciate help if they also enjoy the cats. But ya know. It’s my fault
Now… If we want kids. I will absolutely put a baby in them and kids can start scooping poop at some point.
That being said if you’re being totally honest and you get married you are agreeing to own each others mistakes together. Like finances… So. Litter boxes… Eh
@therealjrn @werehatrack I’m trying one out. Offbrand Amazon. I’ve seen the girls use it/it functions fine.
Probably going to get a different open top one to try for the large boys. But the water heater died in a way I could not fix this time so. Yea bought and installed a new one. Waiting for financials to balance back before more exploratory purchases.
But they china one seems to be fine if the cats will use it
@therealjrn @werehatrack
@unksol - For when you’re ready here’s our experience with the open top box.
Edited to say I really didn’t mean to be so wordy.
🫣 
We have the Neakasa Litter box, it’s the open top kind, it’s been great for our 15 lb BIG boy Tuc! But… If I was to buy another one I wouldn’t get the high priced Neakasa, I’d buy one of those no name brand ones (like you mentioned buying) from Amazon. We needed to put a step (we used a wooden shelf riser) because I think it’s too high. I mean the cat is able to jump on the counter (along with other very high places that he’s also got no business being
) so he could jump into the box but IMO it shouldn’t take that much effort to toilet yourself, not for anyone! 
The one they sell as an accessory (that REALLY should have been included 
) is nice because it matches in color but at $69 I just assume use what I already had. 
The other thing we have an issue with (which might be an issue in all open top boxes, IDK) is that he tosses a lot of litter out when he’s digging his spot or covering his poo! 
We did just recently purchase the $50 fender, another accessory that SHOULD have been INCLUDED! 
We haven’t installed it yet so I can’t say if it’s helpful. At least the box came with a nice mat to put in front of it that catches most of that kicked out litter so it’s not really that difficult to clean it up, it’s just a little bit of a nuisance.
There’s one more thing that I almost forgot… Even though we have it set not to automatically clean for 15 minutes after he’s done his business (like the company recommended) in order for everything to harden up, it still makes a little mess that can be seen on the inside wall. Again, not difficult to wipe with a damp paper towel or a Lysol wipe but when you’ve got limited movement like I do it becomes another annoyance, and/or something to bitch about! 🫣
…
White would have stood out like a sore thumb where I needed to put it and I wasn’t having that! 
In the last few months I’ve seen a whole bunch of different one’s on Amazon, maybe not in MY preferred color but definitely MUCH cheaper! 
I’d definitely try one of those for around $150 before I’d buy another Neakasa! Jus sayen… 
When I was first shopping around for the litter box I couldn’t find another open top box in grey or black. 🩶
All in all we LOVE the whole concept of no more scooping, we only wish we’d done it sooner!
@Lynnerizer I mean this seems reasonable if it makes life easier/saves litter/they use it cause it’s clean
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FSKV1TX5/?th=1
Still experimenting with them. They look way higher off the ground which is why I went with the other style for the first one. But nobody’s fat/lazy/mobility issues. Alex is just. Large. Lol
@unksol @werehatrack I deal with my dog, my wife deals with the cat and the litter box
(but I get up first in the morning, so I feed both pets their breakfast). Works for us. 
@unksol
Yeah it’s definitely worth it! I’d get that grey one in the link, it looks exactly like mine. And yes I forgot to mention how much money we save on litter, we use a third of what we used to use!
We’re all happy cats!
@unksol @werehatrack
Yeah, good luck with that…
@macromeh @werehatrack lol
I’m not saying it’s a labor saver but you know. If I gotta wipe their butts for a few years never mind raising good human beings. It can go on the chore list
@macromeh @unksol @werehatrack
Warning I am terrible at describing physical objects.
And I’m going to have to look up these automatic litter boxes.
—-
I have a friend (who lived alone and had the space) who had this amazing litter box shelf thing. It was about the size of a small dresser or bureau.
These was an open entrance at the bottom.
Midway up (not directly accessible from the front unless one bent down to the cat entrance at floor level and then reached up)
Was a shelf about half the width of the entire thing that was a platform for the litter box plus room for a cat landing area when the cat jumped up.
So the car would enter, jump up, use the box, then jump down.
He bought that non-tracking sort of litter but some always got tracked. So in front of the entire thing was one of those mats which captures litter so that it does not get tracked all over the house.
—-
So now all of you who can visualize this plus all of you who don’t want to try visualizing it are wondering
“WTF?” And “Why bother?”
Ok
The genius part was the top
Both sides of the entire thing were closed. The back was closed. The front was closed except for the cat entry square on the floor.
But the top was two hinged panels in each end.
You opened the one over the litter box to scoop.
You opened both of them to lift the litter box out completely for cleaning or litter replacement
The genius part is
No Bending Over!!!
(For the humans)
And the cats like it because privacy.
And no smell ever seemed to escape.
I’ll see if I can get a brand name and a link.
This would be super easy to build from scratch for those so inclined.
My friend is now living with his gf and her kids. She has a smallish dog. The 20-30 lb sort.
One of the benefits of this “litter bureau” is that this particular dog can’t get to the shelf that hold the litter box.
—-
I don’t know until I see videos but … this sort of thing might be compatible with the self scooping litter boxes I suppose.
—
My friend managed to persuade other people to get one of these “litter bureaus”.
They loved it
It turned out that the “bending over” was about the worst part of dealing with the litter boxes.
This contraption does away with the bending.
@f00l @macromeh @unksol @werehatrack That does sound like a clever piece of furniture. I still have the classic litterbox, but I solved the bending over part of it by buying a collapsible stepstool. It folds flat for storage so it’s super convenient. Meh sold them once; they should sell them again (hint, hint, @troy!)
Mine isn’t this tall, but the same design.
@Kyeh @macromeh @troy @unksol @werehatrack
I think these … and accessories … can be had on Amazon
Comes in various finishes. They say “wheelchair friendly” in the site.
https://outofsightlitterbox.com/
They use a special coated cardboard high sided box for the actual litter container. This prevents the cat from “missing”
The dimensions are on the site, as well as pictures and videos.
Still looks like a handy person could whip one of these up if cost is a barrier.
They also have pix of how it fits into the home.
(I got a few things wrong in my description above. The top that opens is one panel not two)
It’s well beloved by persons who have one.
@Kyeh @macromeh @troy @unksol @werehatrack
@Kyeh @macromeh @troy @unksol @werehatrack
@f00l @Kyeh @macromeh @troy @werehatrack if you can get a cat to use it you can do all sorts of stuff. I kinda like the idea. And with a few cats might be easy.
I’m pretty sure a few like some visibility
Also my god Alex isn’t a maine coon but. He’s a big boy
@Kyeh @macromeh @troy @unksol @werehatrack
My friend needed a litter box because he took in a feral and got her all the vet services plus the spay.
She figured out that litter box in less than 5 seconds.
Cats like to explore. They like boxes. They like the option to be invisible.
So I figure most cats would go right for it.
@unksol
4 cats seems rather wonderful. Do you have to always buy 2 couches so there’s room for you?
@f00l @macromeh @troy @unksol @werehatrack Oh my gosh! Alex makes the others look like kittens! You sure his dad wasn’t a panther?
@f00l @Kyeh @macromeh @troy @unksol @werehatrack Yeah, I made something like this long ago. The bottom and one side was open and had wheels on the same side and a handle on the other so that I could lift it and roll it away to expose the litterbox for “processing”.
@f00l @Kyeh @troy @unksol @werehatrack
@f00l @Kyeh @macromeh @troy @unksol @werehatrack Wow, your kitty cup runneth over!
@f00l @Kyeh @macromeh @troy @werehatrack I honestly think I could have gotten kitcat to use those toilet inserts when it was just him. He was. Very well behaved
This isn’t about silly questions that make one feel old?
@zhicks1987 I can feel old without silly questions, but ask them anyway. I have some silly answers that need to get spread around.
@werehatrack An interesting thread would be, best approaches for “dates” (since sometimes it’s better not to call a date a date.) For example, something I think is very important for a first rendezvous is having an escape plan, so if things go really badly you’re not stuck driving that person home.
@aetris @werehatrack lol since it’s rural here both parties would kinda have to have a car. So can just leave.
For me. You could just tell me you’re not feeling it. That’s fine. But that’s also hard for some people to say. So. I get that too.
I’m on call for work all the time but most of them I can just say it’s fine cancel the job.
Which if that happened in the middle of a date would sound like a bail out checkin
Toilet paper roll goes over the top. Like in the original patent.
I’m flexible on everything else.
@KNmeh7
There is a way to put on toilet roll on the holder so that if cats attack the roll it doesn’t unspool all over the place.
I don’t know if that’s your way or the other way. The cats I’ve lived with never attacked the toilet paper.
@KNmeh7 You know what they say.
@KNmeh7 @yakkoTDI
Oh, I like that!
@KNmeh7 @Kyeh @yakkoTDI Oh oh! Back when I got married I had both!
@f00l @KNmeh7 I’ve had lots of cats that never attacked toilet paper… until the latest one who doesn’t just try to unroll it, if she finds a roll not on dispenser will bite chunks out of it.
I suppose the big red flags are obvious and include the usual.
I would need:
Sincerity
A relatively easy temperament.
Competence at basic life stuff.
Enough openness that we can figure out how to fit together and include our families to an appropriate degree
Tolerance over tiny things
Cleaning:
Someone who runs a clean house and a clean life
(I can’t stand uncleaned kitchens that are still that way an hour after the meal or festivities are over)
(I can’t stand it when competent people create a mess and don’t immediately clean it up)
(I have sometimes been so put off over friend’s homes that I just cleaned up [always asking q’s, I don’t take over or mastermind someone else’s space]. Thus turned out to be an error because then they expected me to clean up after them. Uhhh NO)
Someone who will neither tolerable being assigned the “servant” role not tolerate someone else playing that role.
Things should be roughly 50-50.
Re changing the sheets: every week is nice but not mandatory.
Re wiping out gf barely used cups plates cutlery instead of washing:
I’m all for this. Often I create meals in order to minimize dish mess anyway.
—-
For someone I live with:
No crazy mental issues
No manipulative types
No self-deceiving types
No unresolved anger issues
No small or large deceptions.
Someone must be nice to be around. And empathetic.
And not completely consumed by hobbies or whatever so they’re basically never available.
—-
Re scents and allergens etc
No scents or allergens I or the other person would react seriously to ever.
I’m fine w no scents at all.
I don’t much like candies and incense to create scent.
Scented essential oils would be fine.
—-
Well cared for cats and dogs are a plus.
All cats are superior beings.
All dogs are good dogs.
—-
If something about the desired lifestyle were kinda intensive or high maintenance
Other party wants to travel constantly
Or be on a boat or is a pilot
Or tinkers a lot with unusual things
Is a dedicated sports or fitness fanatic
I’d prob need time to andjust and see if there were still a fit.
I was married for 25 years, I have been dating about 10 years since the divorce.
I can honestly say any and all canned “questions“ are annoying as hell, and people need to stop doing it.
Just have conversations… normal conversations, and shit will normally come up casually. No need to force anything. Chemistry is king, and that determines more than anything if people stay together.
Besides, if you’re sincere about dating at all, you’re trying to be on your best behavior, show your best sides, and downplaying your weak points.
Yes, I get that. It’s better to just let things flow. It’s hard to admit, but my weakness is just so much giving to others with no thought to accolades.
I’m probably a bit too humble if I’m really honest.