Space United Jason, Episode 4

Quinn Berg, GAPASS aboard the starship Jason, and his newly tolerated mandroid friend Dictum, are racing to the bridge while the ship’s computer blares a red alert warning.

RED ALERT. PROCEED TO EMERGENCY STATIONS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. The ship’s speakers are screaming at us over warning klaxons. I mean, not actually screaming. It’s still that disquieting Siri voice, but it’s very very loud. Various crew are standing at attention, waiting at what I guess are their emergency stations. But no one went over that part with us, so Dictum and I are at a dead sprint to the bridge. The doors slide silently open and I’m awestruck.

There she is. Captain Borfland. Pride of the Space United fleet. She’s even more striking than the TV commercials make her seem. Her back is to us but upon hearing Dictum’s squishy footsteps she turns to face us with a serious expression.

“Sir. Ma’am. Sorry. GAPASS personnel Berg and Dictum reporting. How can we help?” I can barely spit out the words in between gasps of breath. This ship is fucking huge.

“You’re late,” she eyes us sternly. I’m not sure what we could be late for, given that we didn’t seem to have any assigned emergency station. Wasn’t there also an emergency?

“Cancel the drill,” she tells a junior officer manning a command screen. Immediately the klaxons stop, thank god.

“I am confused,” Dictum says in that monotone robot voice of his, “The alert specified that this was not a drill. It was quite emphatic.”

“Yes,” Captain Borfland smiles, “The perfect drill is the one you least suspect. Welcome aboard the Jason, gentlemen. I am Captain Jerrica Borfland, commanding officer of this ship, CEO of Space United, and heiress to the Borfland Communications fortune. Because of signup fees from folks like you, we’re going to travel to a place where not any one person from earth has ventured to in the past.”

“Awesome,” is all I can really manage to sputter in my stupor.

“Indeed. You’re just in time to witness our historic test run of the transdimensional warp drive.”

“Wow that’s incred- Wait, test run?” That can’t be right. Can it?

“I do not believe this was mentioned in the service contract,” Dictum adds, sharing my concern. I mean sure, we signed up to fly off into space and leave the only world we’ve ever known behind, but we’re not crazy.

“Don’t worry boys,” Captain Borfland waves a hand dismissively, “The warp drive engine is all but guaranteed to work flawlessly. It’s my own design.”

“Wow, you’re a transdimensional engineer, too?” I asked, seriously impressed.

“No, silly, I’m an heiress. Fire the warp drive!” Before I can say a word, I feel a sickening lurch through my entire body. I close my eyes as tight as I can, willing my soul to stay inside my body. My existence smears hideously across space time before rubber-banding itself back together. My contents have shifted. Severely. But as quickly as it hits, the universal skidmark across my being seems to have subsided.

“Where are we?” I say to no one in particular.

“Impossible to say,” Dictum adds helpfully, “As we did not know where Captain Borfland intended to go.”

“Captain, where-” as I turn I can see a look of pure, unadulterated terror on the Captain’s face. She doesn’t speak, she only points at the wall that serves as a video screen to relay what’s going on outside.

“Oh. Shit.” I mutter to myself as I see the alien ship.